Feels like my whole world is crumbling down when I am sick.

I have been rather ill the past few weeks but I've been holding it in, going in for work, pushing on every single day. I know the quality of my work have slipped because I am taking way too much time to do my work and I really feel bad about it.

Then last night, body gave me a stern warning that it is tired of pushing itself to the max, my head was spinning really badly last night to the point that I was near fainting. At that moment, I asked myself, whatever for am I pushing myself so hard for? Had I stayed home previously and just fed on drowsy medicine in the day and night, I would have recovered in no time, but yet I choose to only take the medication at night and thus slowed down my process of recovery.

Doctor said I was hyperventilating and really should not stress myself and my body out, if I am sick I should just rest and not push on to the extend that I hyperventilate and let my fingertips and toes turn all numb and cold, she said if this continues it is only sooner or later that I will pass out one day and may just damage my organs? Problem is when I push myself (supposedly so), I don't feel the strain, perhaps like what my friend said, you think you're not but your body is feeling the strain.

At the crucial moment just before I thought I was going to pass out, I asked myself why am I doing what I am doing, I didn't study to get a law degree to push myself that hard that my body can no longer support the mind and is rebelling against it.

A fellow colleague told me, health is the most important, if you don't take care of yourself, nobody will. And that is just so true, so after this chain of medical leave, I am so going to take care of myself. I must not give priority to work. New year resolution number 1.

Through work, I realised, those who are weak often give up, those who are more than weak never give up.

The very day you give up, is the very day you're defeated.