I suppose I am a hard nut to crack when it comes to friendships these days, the only certainty about friendships is nothing's for certain. I felt terribly let down by the recent turn of events, all the backstabbing saucy stuff, it's not like I have high expectations of my friends or something but whenever someone betrays my trust I see that as a let down of their potential and failure on my part of judgment.

Of course, different categories of friends require different levels of expectations, but at the very basic level, all I expect from someone is sincerity. Sometimes I wished for a little more, which is a simple straightforward theory that goes "Hang around me if you feel comfortable, if not the door's always there for you" but these days who shows their likes and dislikes openly? As much as you hate to be involved in politics, you are just involved somehow one way or the other, you patronize people with the regular "Oh Hi! How have you been" (passionately) even when that someone annoys you. Let's not include the superficial friends known as acquaintances because quite frankly all of us patronize these group of people half the time, let's just narrow down the discussion to friends, people who have the potential of becoming your good friend.

I am but a straighforward person, if I dislike someone I'll just make it known to that person, either by declaring it or through showing it (sometimes it takes awhile to show though). If someone's worth my attention, I will probably go tell him/her what exactly's about him/her I dislike or annoys me, alternatively I'll walk away from this so called 'friend' eventually or though I am not too sure if this is the right thing to do. The very last thing I will do is to go around gossiping about this person whom I dislike, for what does that make me of a person anyway? Sometimes people don't realise I don't exactly need them around, I don't need all that hypocrisy, if you don't like me just go, why put up a false front and go around pretending you are my friend, you like me half the time? Why be aggressive and passive at the same time?
I don't need such company. There's nothing I can do to anyone if they choose not to be my friend, so what is it that these people cannot see anyway, it's not like they get a million dollars for sticking around with me anyway.

I would very much appreciate if someone were to come forward and tell me what exactly is so irritable about me rather than going around spreading rumours or gossips about me. These people are just total let downs, I shan't waste my night dwelling on this.

P.S: I wrote this partly because I need to channel my negative emotions somewhere and partly to send the message across to the people reading my blog, who I believe are mostly my friends, it's never too late to tell me or confess whatever you said about me, I will respect and be thankful for your honesty and I promise no hard feelings.

I remembered how happy I was when people gave me a chance to fill in the position of Chief Editor for the society and I promised myself to contribute whatever I can. This is my committment. Then I was given the duties of webmaster reason being I have a blog and the blog shows my efficiency in web-building, but this is not true, for all web-bloggers you will know what I mean but still I accepted the job, treated it as a challenge and an opportunity to learn something new, it was a challenge back then.

Today I was introduced as Chief Editor and Webmaster of the society, I felt proud with the former being mentioned but somewhat awkward when the latter position was mentioned. I would have felt equally proud if I had been able to carry out my duties, I planned to do up the website during this space of free time but things always don't go the way we plan, do they? I cannot use yahoo page builder due to the advertisements popping out every now and then but that's ok, he said he will teach me how to do up the thing or provide me with frontpage software to solve this issue. After a few failed attempts to reach him, I wrote an email to get him to give me a clear indication with regards to the website issue, I really wanted to know if he is still going to teach me or not, if he is not, then I will want to do the website using yahoo page builder and if that's not allowed I will then not want to assume this responsibility, how can I go around telling people I am also the webmaster when I've not done anything to deserve such title? I am not attributing blame or trying to push someone else to do the job, I am merely stuck in the middle, seeking for clarity.

I hate leaving jobs undone, especially when it affects people not just myself. Responsibility is but a simple word, explained by oxford dictionary as duty resulting from your work or position, it is a liability and it is a duty, people who don't know their responsibilities deserves no respect from anyone, nor are they fit to tell people what to do. Without responsibility, people's commitment to the results of their work will diminish, responsibility builds trust, good relationship between teamplayers and irresponsibility not only cause inconvenience to others but diminish your credibility, to succeed in life is to be accountable for what you have done and what you have not done. To be irresponsible is bad enough, to create excuses or to simply shift the blame to somewhere else makes you lesser of a person, failure to take on responsibility in early stages of your life will only help you in your future career as a irresponsible parent and /or as a slacker. Somehow it's not a hard concept to understand.

I remembered how happy I was when people gave me a chance to fill in the position of Chief Editor for the society and I promised myself to contribute whatever I can. This is my committment. Then I was given the duties of webmaster reason being I have a blog and the blog shows my efficiency in web-building, but this is not true, for all web-bloggers you will know what I mean but still I accepted the job, treated it as a challenge and an opportunity to learn something new, it was a challenge back then.

Today I was introduced as Chief Editor and Webmaster of the society, I felt proud with the former being mentioned but somewhat awkward when the latter position was mentioned. I would have felt equally proud if I had been able to carry out my duties, I planned to do up the website during this space of free time but things always don't go the way we plan, do they? I cannot use yahoo page builder due to the advertisements popping out every now and then but that's ok, he said he will teach me how to do up the thing or provide me with frontpage software to solve this issue. After a few failed attempts to reach him, I wrote an email to get him to give me a clear indication with regards to the website issue, I really wanted to know if he is still going to teach me or not, if he is not, then I will want to do the website using yahoo page builder and if that's not allowed I will then not want to assume this responsibility, how can I go around telling people I am also the webmaster when I've not done anything to deserve such title? I am not attributing blame or trying to push someone else to do the job, I am merely stuck in the middle, seeking for clarity. I hate leaving jobs undone, especially when it affects people not just myself.

Responsibility is but a simple word, explained by oxford dictionary as duty resulting from your work or position, it is a liability and it is a duty, people who don't know their responsibilities deserves no respect from anyone, nor are they fit to tell people what to do. Without responsibility, people's commitment to the results of their work will diminish, responsibility builds trust, good relationship between teamplayers and irresponsibility not only cause inconvenience to others but diminish your credibility, to succeed in life is to be accountable for what you have done and what you have not done. To be irresponsible is bad enough, to create excuses or to simply shift the blame to somewhere else makes you lesser of a person, failure to take on responsibility in early stages of your life will only help you in your future career as a irresponsible parent and /or as a slacker. Somehow it's not a hard concept to understand.

I named him Brave-Be. The name should tell you he's brave but it is not that I admire, it is his will to survive, the willingness to learn how to survive and that is something that's worth admiration or commendation. He's my Dad's pet, one of the four lobsters he kept.

I didn't really paid much attention to Brave-Be till one day I found one of his claws ripped and he on the other hand was busy defending or ducking away from Bully, one other lobster among the four which is slightly bigger. At first, Brave-Be lost only one of his bigger claws, few days later he lost all of his remaining hind legs and Bully didn't stop bugging Brave-Be, my first reaction to this was rather instinctual, I wanted to help this poor fella. I placed my hand in to separate Brave-Be from Bully and Brave-Be just ducked away, the same way he ducked away from Bully, so plan A didn't work and I went on to plan B. Plan B was to put Brave-Be at the other side of the tank camouflaged with all the rocks and shells in the tank, but Brave-Be did not stay there for long, the minute I placed it there and was about to take my hand out, it moved away.

And I figured the best way of helping him was perhaps to let him figure things out on his own. So I spent the new few days observing Brave-Be. That little fella was hell of a erm lobster, instead of hiding or retreating, he just sleeps in the open (with no stones, no shells, nothing) and whenever Bully starts poking at him, he tries to fight back and when he can't he just retreats to somewhere where Bully cannot squeeze through because of his sheer size as compared with Brave-Be.

Despite him being small and perhaps a little lost and confused, he never succumbed to Bully, he learned how to survive on his own and with every new thing he does on his own just makes him stronger and more useful, guess nature always has its plan. Every fight he put up against Bully was in fact of much courage and bravery and in my opinion he has done pretty well, even much better than me offering my help. Sometimes the best way for one to survive is to figure how things work in life on their own.

Brave-Be made me realised he's no different from any living creature, he's like one of us too, learning how to survive, facing another day on his own, day by day, night by night. It is of course easy to take the easy way out, to be rescued, to be guided, to be taught but sometimes it is really through the bumpy ride one has to take in his/her life, the moments which one feels scared, lost or confused that really teach one how to go on living, how to, survive. Although Brave-Be didn't really make it (he died) but the story of this little lobster brings clarity and which is why his death's not tragic but hopeful.