These days, practically everyone owns a blog, they write about their day to day activities, their thoughts, put up their kick ass photos and basically do a whole lot of things with their personal blogs. I am one of the bloggers who writes about her life experiences and sometimes from little episodes you share some of the life lessons she learnt and that's perhaps all that is to my blog. I don't blog about my daily activities so as to allow others to keep up with my life and yet ironically, that's what friends of mine have been using my blog for, as an information source to find out how I am faring with my life.
Some claimed that they know I am doing well when I blog about happy stuff and they will generally assume I am fine and all, hence they don't write to me or sometimes drop me a msg over msn these days. I don't quite get their reasoning seriously, particularly when I am not one of the bloggers who blog about their activities from lunch to bedtime story on a day to day or weekly basis. I write only when I have something that makes a little sense to share and to also record down some memorable experiences so that I will be able to reminisce the good and bad times.
I must say that I don't actually have all the time in the world for everyone to call or message me over msn or write me a mail but some selected few who matter should at least not visit my blog and stop at there, what happened to all those great engaging conversations we used to have?
Blogs are nothing but projected impressions which bloggers would like their readers to have and indulge in and that is all to them. It is really not a hard concept, basically it's I choose what I want you to know put it up and you read it. You can't possibly know everything else about the writer, you can't even find out more about the writer just by reading the blogger's blog. Why indulge in a one way street communication when you can have a lively two way communication with your friend with a mail, a ring, a text? Are you really satisfied with just reading about what I have to say?
I must have blogged so much about technology about how it rips us apart from one another and why is it that after reading all these entries you are still not getting the message? Blog is also part of today's technology, just like birthday alarms, it will separate you from me. IT will motivate you to stop talking to me, stop understanding me and stop caring for me. Conversations are part and parcel of relationships, stop it and the relationship ends. Are you ready to bid me goodbye then?
If not, why are you STILL READING? Pick up the PHONE, write me a MAIL or send me a TEXT, whatever, you know you matter when I bother, so seriously do something and stop sending me the wrong messages that you don't bother about me no more.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Waiting
I was having a conversation with a friend just a few days ago and we were just on the topic of how long must one wait for someone they think they are in love with before moving on with their life or simply moving on to a new target.
Let's put my friend's view into perspectives first. He said time is not really of the essence here but a reasonable period of time for anybody to wait for an answer or acceptance from the one they supposedly fallen head over heels for would most definitely have to be 6 months but then again he spent 6 years staying in love with someone and waiting for her answer and too for her to change her mind about her decision. Apparently, he was not so lucky, she did give him an answer and it was negative but he decided to wait for her to change her mind anyway and it took him in all, 6 years. When asked why was he that persistent, he simply said the following "because I truly liked her"
I have nothing but admiration for his patience and his justification for his persistency, which may be seen by most as being obstinate and stubborn and perhaps he was doomed or damned from the very start. And no doubt 6 years is a very long time and I cannot help but to feel sorry for him because at the end of it, she never did change her mind. One may even question if my friend is at all dense or daft so much so that he didn't quite get the answer of no in his head, but the deal is, he was perfectly clear of her decision and in fact he always knew her decision but he decided to wait regardless what because he felt she is the one and only person meant for him and if he was to move on quickly to another target or person then, it just goes to show he didn't like her that much to begin with. I cannot agree more with him. Still I feel sad for him and I am sure she felt sad too, at least I would. Sometimes it is quite a pain to not be able to reciprocate another's affections for you and I've been there, seen that, done that, it hurts especially when you care for that person as a particularly good friend or someone whom you are equally involved in his life.
So when should one give up when their targets say no? There is really no hard and fast rules on this but one thing to look out for is the mourning period. If you truly like someone and tried to win his/her heart but to no avail, the last thing you would ever want to do is to move on to a new target straight after rejection, because to a certain extent you are hurting too because you've just got rejected and it is not wise to just end up with anyone else who just conveniently comes your way to fill up the void as a result of the rejection and secondly, which is also perhaps the most important reason, the person who rejected you will think lesser of you if you moved on too quickly without a mourning period, he/she would probably just reach the conclusion that you never liked them that much anyway and somehow they should be glad with the decisions they made. Is moving on too quickly without mourning period a form of disrespect for the person you then liked? Probably so. Just put yourself in his/her shoes, would you not have reached the same reasoning? I know I would.
The situation is analogous to that of a relationship, every relationship, regardless of the fact that it was great or not, deserves a mourning period when it ends. That means both of the parties need to mourn for their loss, whether they think of it as a loss or not, it is a basic form of respect and too a good opportunity for one to mend his/her broken heart before moving on to learn how to give again in a new relationship. I've always believed that if you never truly recovered from the hurt the previous relationship brought or caused to you, you can somehow never quite give as freely as you would like to in the next relationship because you are more often than not, reminded of the pain caused previously and might subconsciously bring on negative energy to the new relationship and act all defensive and try to protect your feelings and thus not giving your 100%. Now nobody deserves anything less than 101% when it comes to relationships.
Even if you don't feel as if you have been hurt by the previous relationship, you still need to give yourself some time to consolidate your thoughts and get some sense of direction before running around in every direction and with the end result of you being one pathetic confused, deeply saddened headless chicken, never quite made it anywhere near the finishing line. And even if you don't want to do that, spare a thought for the other person whom you've been seeing for a while (and on the other hand, the person whom you've been after for sometime) and give them some respect by mourning, reasonably, I feel a month or two is acceptable but then again who am I to set such limits and impose it on anyone really? And what happens if during this mourning period you meet the one and should you let the one go just because of this mourning period thing? No, in such a situation, it is perfectly fine to break out of the mourning period because you can never quite easily find another the one who makes you feel the way you feel.
All of that being said, one should not be all that persistent and obstinate when the other party you are courting says no clearly, once or twice or a few times. Sometimes the celebrated formula you see in those television series don't always work in real life. Relationships are hard, you just have to understand this, that certain things are not meant to be and will never be, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it, the end result is the same in that you will always end up where you started, back to square one. And to save yourself from being loathed at, it is important to not pester and try make things work for you by trying and trying and trying, one must know limits and respect them, only that way can you guys remain as happy and great friends, even if you guys stopped being friends at least he/she will remember you as someone with integrity or even someone nice whom they missed out on.
I was having a conversation with a friend just a few days ago and we were just on the topic of how long must one wait for someone they think they are in love with before moving on with their life or simply moving on to a new target.
Let's put my friend's view into perspectives first. He said time is not really of the essence here but a reasonable period of time for anybody to wait for an answer or acceptance from the one they supposedly fallen head over heels for would most definitely have to be 6 months but then again he spent 6 years staying in love with someone and waiting for her answer and too for her to change her mind about her decision. Apparently, he was not so lucky, she did give him an answer and it was negative but he decided to wait for her to change her mind anyway and it took him in all, 6 years. When asked why was he that persistent, he simply said the following "because I truly liked her"
I have nothing but admiration for his patience and his justification for his persistency, which may be seen by most as being obstinate and stubborn and perhaps he was doomed or damned from the very start. And no doubt 6 years is a very long time and I cannot help but to feel sorry for him because at the end of it, she never did change her mind. One may even question if my friend is at all dense or daft so much so that he didn't quite get the answer of no in his head, but the deal is, he was perfectly clear of her decision and in fact he always knew her decision but he decided to wait regardless what because he felt she is the one and only person meant for him and if he was to move on quickly to another target or person then, it just goes to show he didn't like her that much to begin with. I cannot agree more with him. Still I feel sad for him and I am sure she felt sad too, at least I would. Sometimes it is quite a pain to not be able to reciprocate another's affections for you and I've been there, seen that, done that, it hurts especially when you care for that person as a particularly good friend or someone whom you are equally involved in his life.
So when should one give up when their targets say no? There is really no hard and fast rules on this but one thing to look out for is the mourning period. If you truly like someone and tried to win his/her heart but to no avail, the last thing you would ever want to do is to move on to a new target straight after rejection, because to a certain extent you are hurting too because you've just got rejected and it is not wise to just end up with anyone else who just conveniently comes your way to fill up the void as a result of the rejection and secondly, which is also perhaps the most important reason, the person who rejected you will think lesser of you if you moved on too quickly without a mourning period, he/she would probably just reach the conclusion that you never liked them that much anyway and somehow they should be glad with the decisions they made. Is moving on too quickly without mourning period a form of disrespect for the person you then liked? Probably so. Just put yourself in his/her shoes, would you not have reached the same reasoning? I know I would.
The situation is analogous to that of a relationship, every relationship, regardless of the fact that it was great or not, deserves a mourning period when it ends. That means both of the parties need to mourn for their loss, whether they think of it as a loss or not, it is a basic form of respect and too a good opportunity for one to mend his/her broken heart before moving on to learn how to give again in a new relationship. I've always believed that if you never truly recovered from the hurt the previous relationship brought or caused to you, you can somehow never quite give as freely as you would like to in the next relationship because you are more often than not, reminded of the pain caused previously and might subconsciously bring on negative energy to the new relationship and act all defensive and try to protect your feelings and thus not giving your 100%. Now nobody deserves anything less than 101% when it comes to relationships.
Even if you don't feel as if you have been hurt by the previous relationship, you still need to give yourself some time to consolidate your thoughts and get some sense of direction before running around in every direction and with the end result of you being one pathetic confused, deeply saddened headless chicken, never quite made it anywhere near the finishing line. And even if you don't want to do that, spare a thought for the other person whom you've been seeing for a while (and on the other hand, the person whom you've been after for sometime) and give them some respect by mourning, reasonably, I feel a month or two is acceptable but then again who am I to set such limits and impose it on anyone really? And what happens if during this mourning period you meet the one and should you let the one go just because of this mourning period thing? No, in such a situation, it is perfectly fine to break out of the mourning period because you can never quite easily find another the one who makes you feel the way you feel.
All of that being said, one should not be all that persistent and obstinate when the other party you are courting says no clearly, once or twice or a few times. Sometimes the celebrated formula you see in those television series don't always work in real life. Relationships are hard, you just have to understand this, that certain things are not meant to be and will never be, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it, the end result is the same in that you will always end up where you started, back to square one. And to save yourself from being loathed at, it is important to not pester and try make things work for you by trying and trying and trying, one must know limits and respect them, only that way can you guys remain as happy and great friends, even if you guys stopped being friends at least he/she will remember you as someone with integrity or even someone nice whom they missed out on.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Mensa, so what?
The latest season of the Apprentice is back and this time round, Donald Trump handpicked the candidates and on the face of it, most of them seemed to possess really great credentials, you get some member from Mensa, a graduate from Harvard business school, self made multi millionaire networth 8 million dollars with no education and in her own words, she is totally self made and many more attorneys and so on.
Prima facie, they seemed to be all really bright individuals, especially Tarek, the Mensa guy but behold, qualifications may not necessarily match up to intelligence or even common sense! Well, I used to have great admiration for people who are part of the Mensa club, I mean it is most certainly big deal, they are afterall the top 2% brightest people in whichever population you and I live in, but I started doubting its quality once someone supposedly famous got into the club because for whatever reason, it might be due to the bad impressions I have come to form because of her loud and foul mouth and sometimes crude so to speak, I just don't think she had that much of the grey matter to begin with. But I stress one point, I don't think she is dumb but I don't think she is that bright as well.
What does the Mensa test really comprise? I have not sat for it before but I have at least sat for some very similar IQ test, reputable nationwide BBC IQ tests and so on and my scores? All you need to know is that my score don't fall below the average and neither is it at the average and as for how much above the average, it is really not important. And after sitting through all these sort of IQ tests, I came to a conclusion, in that a person can easily do very well in the tests if he/she is good in mathematics and logical reasoning. It is but quite a technical test if I may say so. Apart from those tests being timed and all, they don't necessarily test your reactivity to changes, your street smartness and so on and so forth. It tests only part of your intelligence it does not represent all. There are so many other factors to look at when you describe someone as intelligence and hence I am always very cautious with regards to describing people with the adjective intelligent.
Season 5 of the Apprentice just proved my points, Tarek, is one supposedly smart ass who is a member of the Mensa club in the United States of America and he failed terribly in his task as project manager, poor leadership skills, poor management skills, poor thinking skills, zero creativity and again poor strategical skills, what does it really tell you? Supposedly if you were to ask me to work with a Mensa member, I will most certainly let him/her have most of his/her ways because they are supposedly smart and are supposedly able to think on their feet and come up with really bright ideas, yes no? Unfortunately this is not the case, apart from being hot and distributing free duffle bags with no strings attached and apart from leeching on his member's idea of what slogan to put on the blimp and relying on most of his team members to sell the memberships of Sam's club, I really don't know what else he contributed, seriously. There was no gimmick to draw in the crowd, no freebies to entice people to sign up for the memberships and so on and so forth. It is really very simple marketing strategy at the end of the day and he failed terribly on his task and in Trump's words, Tarek is overrated and I cannot agree more!
Also it does not necessarily mean that as a mensa member (note capital M's gone) you are definitely smarter than the rest of the 98% of the population that lives in your country, it may be that the rest of the smart people in that 98% cannot just be bothered to pay and sit for the mensa test and then pay again for the annual subscriptions to stay in the smart club.
The latest season of the Apprentice is back and this time round, Donald Trump handpicked the candidates and on the face of it, most of them seemed to possess really great credentials, you get some member from Mensa, a graduate from Harvard business school, self made multi millionaire networth 8 million dollars with no education and in her own words, she is totally self made and many more attorneys and so on.
Prima facie, they seemed to be all really bright individuals, especially Tarek, the Mensa guy but behold, qualifications may not necessarily match up to intelligence or even common sense! Well, I used to have great admiration for people who are part of the Mensa club, I mean it is most certainly big deal, they are afterall the top 2% brightest people in whichever population you and I live in, but I started doubting its quality once someone supposedly famous got into the club because for whatever reason, it might be due to the bad impressions I have come to form because of her loud and foul mouth and sometimes crude so to speak, I just don't think she had that much of the grey matter to begin with. But I stress one point, I don't think she is dumb but I don't think she is that bright as well.
What does the Mensa test really comprise? I have not sat for it before but I have at least sat for some very similar IQ test, reputable nationwide BBC IQ tests and so on and my scores? All you need to know is that my score don't fall below the average and neither is it at the average and as for how much above the average, it is really not important. And after sitting through all these sort of IQ tests, I came to a conclusion, in that a person can easily do very well in the tests if he/she is good in mathematics and logical reasoning. It is but quite a technical test if I may say so. Apart from those tests being timed and all, they don't necessarily test your reactivity to changes, your street smartness and so on and so forth. It tests only part of your intelligence it does not represent all. There are so many other factors to look at when you describe someone as intelligence and hence I am always very cautious with regards to describing people with the adjective intelligent.
Season 5 of the Apprentice just proved my points, Tarek, is one supposedly smart ass who is a member of the Mensa club in the United States of America and he failed terribly in his task as project manager, poor leadership skills, poor management skills, poor thinking skills, zero creativity and again poor strategical skills, what does it really tell you? Supposedly if you were to ask me to work with a Mensa member, I will most certainly let him/her have most of his/her ways because they are supposedly smart and are supposedly able to think on their feet and come up with really bright ideas, yes no? Unfortunately this is not the case, apart from being hot and distributing free duffle bags with no strings attached and apart from leeching on his member's idea of what slogan to put on the blimp and relying on most of his team members to sell the memberships of Sam's club, I really don't know what else he contributed, seriously. There was no gimmick to draw in the crowd, no freebies to entice people to sign up for the memberships and so on and so forth. It is really very simple marketing strategy at the end of the day and he failed terribly on his task and in Trump's words, Tarek is overrated and I cannot agree more!
Also it does not necessarily mean that as a mensa member (note capital M's gone) you are definitely smarter than the rest of the 98% of the population that lives in your country, it may be that the rest of the smart people in that 98% cannot just be bothered to pay and sit for the mensa test and then pay again for the annual subscriptions to stay in the smart club.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
