Sometimes growing up can be quite a pain. You tend to lose quite a fair bit of things in the process of growing up. Yourself, your friends, your faith and trust in people, contentments of life are just a few of the things you lose along the way. Somehow like that is not enough, life somehow always gets a little too complicated, you begin to feel insecure and wonder what you will become or rather who you will become in 3 or 5 years time, you start wondering where you'll stand on the social ladder ten years down the road, you worry unnecessarily.
 
You start realizing what an ugly world you are living in, you find people whom you once called your friends turned against you, you find friendship is but a word like trust, both of which are devoid of meaning and all emotions, you start understanding how selfish people are, you start seeing the nasty side of life. Welcome to the dark side.
 
You find great difficulty making more new friends as you grow older each year, you find it difficult to build that connection, you even find great difficulty keeping your friends. Friends whom you have kept so close to turned out to be the ones who have gone on a rampage to backstab you furiously, friends whom you have lost touch with make a reappearance in your life and you realised these are actually your real friends, the real ones who really matter. (I will do another posting on this in the next few days)
 
You get your heart broken by some flirts who are playing the field or even worse you find no one decent to date, you find yourself single and very available but there's no one there for you, no one at the receiving end. Sure bachelors and bachelorettes are now trendy, who needs a partner when you are young, hot and have tons of friends who will hang out with you at pubs and clubs? Haha, reality then begin to set in, your friends are all getting attached, one by one and before you know it, you are the last one left. You are then left with no companionship other than your mug on your desk and you wonder why, why is this happening to you when you are actually attractive or appealing in terms of looks and/or personality.
 
You look at your certificates and medals on the walls and shelves and you feel no satisfaction, you find yourself feeling hollow and empty inside out. You start looking for a job and realised you are either underqualified or overqualified and you are not getting the plush job you were once promised if you get your first class or second upper class degrees, you start wondering why in the world did you worked your ass off back in school to get a job that's not paying you well or a position which you are dispensable, the company will not crush or crumbled without you. You felt you are no longer important. Or you finally gotten the job and pay you wanted, 2 years down the road you are retrenched because you are overpaid with your experience and standing in the company, in other words, your job has been replaced by some fresh graduates who can too perform your functions at a cheaper rate, once again welcome to the club of dispensables, where old things never go, new ones never come, everyone is dispensable.
 
Sometimes I wonder why life has become so complicated and confusing, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel bitter at how complicated life has become, sometimes I just wish I can revert back to the days where Barbie dolls are the coolest toys on earth, where sharing a packet of sweets with the person beside me will make her my friend and we'll have loads of fun together.
 
But would you rather live in such simple, naive and uncomplicated life or would you rather gather what you learn everyday into the ever growing encyclopedia of ways of dealing with life and people? Would this simplicity guarantee happiness? Would this life free from complications be a fulfilling, enriching one which I will reminisce over and over and over and again and again? Would there actually be any memories or things which I can reminisce about? Maybe not, because missing out the huge part of growing up, that huge part of dealing with complications with life (no matter how traumatic and tough it may be), that part of life which I will learn alot of things, gain a lot of knowledge and so on and so forth, will give me nothing to recollect about! Nothing! So being the sick psycho if you would so desire to call me, I will actually miss the bumpy ride I'm currently on, I will actually miss everything I have learnt and sought after, I will even miss my mistakes, no matter how painful some has inflicted.
 
You might have wished for the hands of clock to turn back at times so that you can erase those painful memories, those moments when you have felt utterly disappointed with people and life, moments when you felt lost and confused and so on. But did you know, these moments are whatever that shaped and made you who you are today? Somehow life's a mixed bag of issues, most of which are complicated and frustrating, somehow everyone who's reading this knows somehow we'll all make it, we'll all be able to pontificate upon life and share the experiences and bumpy rides we have had been on with our children, nieces, nephews so on and so forth and as we do that an euphoria of mixed emotions will emanate and we'll know our life has been well lived. Life is sometimes but a wealth of knowledge and mixed bag of emotions eh?

Chain letters
 
This is one reason why I admire this guy so much. This is what he wrote
 
"Friends and acquaintances alike,Hope you people are having a good day.I'm just thinking out loud here, so forgive the irrelevant ramblings. Recently, I noticed a trend in the bulletins and that is, the number of chain-letters (or chain-bulletins) has increased. One of these is some Latin mumbo-jumbo prayer that supposedly bestows death if it does not get circulated. Day after day, someone posts a bulletin with the same subject: "he died", until this seems to be the predominant topic. It is a little amusing though, I must admit and the hilarity is that the so-called curse might be something out of a Harry Potter movie/book (correct me if I'm wrong).My concern is not so much the posting of chain letters but more so the motivation behind such posts. These letters have been designed to scare and by the looks of it, they have succeeded in instilling fear amongst us.I am not going to demand that these chain letters stop being posted since it is not in my capacity to do so (i.e. there should always be freedom of expression), and I am aware that anything is possible (so why take the chance of not sending it out, right?). However, I do think it's worth considering this: In our lifetimes, we would come across many things that scare us. Sometimes the threat is real and sometimes it is perceived. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I am exempt of fear. There are times when I too feel the very fear that strikes at the depths of your heart.But whatever the threat, I put forth that if you have faith and believe that ultimately good triumphs over evil, then there is really nothing to fear. Going by the number of chain-mails I failed to send out, I'm probably supposed to have been killed more than ten times over (either that, or I should have turned into a rubber-necked chicken). But alas, it was not meant to be.Personally, the two main reasons why I do not circulate chain-letters are: (i) I don't believe in them; and(ii) The curse has to end somewhere. If people keep sending them out, they're only going to be keeping the "curse" alive, and worse still, they are "cursing" their friends...at least send them to your enemies for crying out loud (kidding).That being said, if at any time, out of fear, you feel that you absolutely must post a chain-letter you can forward it to me via email/msn/friendster/etc. and I would do a raindance and dispel whatever curse there is. Perhaps, I'm lucky to still be alive, some may think. I guess, it's because I merely refuse to die...not yet anyway...haha.The other kinds of bulletins which I find more annoying are the ones that are in poor taste. These are worse than the chain-mails since in this case, the sender seems to take a delight/pleasure in the subject matter. In the news, we hear about how terrorists have been going aroud beheading people. I think it's absolutely tasteless to post a bulletin circulating videos of the actual beheading of victims. Violence in movies is one thing. Brutality in reality is another. Then again, this is my opinion and to each his own. Of course, if the face of the person on the video is someone you know, would you be able to sleep at night?I think I'll end here before I step on too many toes. In any case, thank you for your time and have an eventful day.
 
Best Regards
xx"
 
Gosh don't you just love him? Ok I'm in awe and am very charmed! HAHA The name has been changed to xx to protect the innocent! HAHA

Someone wrote me an email asking me if it is actually ok if she paraphrased some works of mine and post it up her blog.

Guess what was my reply? I said "Sure, go ahead. So long as you don't paraphrase the entire article and you add in new issues or include your own personal experiences now and then, I'm perfectly fine with that."

My friends said I must be nuts to allow someone infringe my copyrights but no, I don't think so. So long as she don't paraphrased the entire article and she introduce new perspectives of hers and/or her own experiences which she can relate to what I have came up with, that is perfectly fine, there is certainly no infringement of my rights. Words unlike designs are not exactly some intellectual property which you can protect but stories are. However if someone were to paraphrase some portions of my work and relate them to their own experiences, that's not copying!

A lot of writers out there don't come up with original stories or phrases or even the sentence structures themselves. Some writers research for materials and used those materials as their resources for their writing bacon bits, some writers write their fiction and/or non fiction stories based on their experiences and sometimes they based it on what they have read and so on and so forth. If I were to read a book about self-enrichment today and extract certain underlying issues or principles and incorporate them into my writings, that's not copying either, and sometimes I can take it further one step by interpreting it my own way and explain it to people, is that copying too?

I think it is perfectly ok to base your writing bacon bits on what others write sometimes but use them as a guide not copy wholesale, give some thoughts to what people write and learn from them, that's how I improve, I read newspapers columnists' articles, story books and so on and so forth. I use them as a guide as to how to improve my style, how a morale lesson learnt from someone's experience can too be my resource for my writings. Sometimes we need to learn from others in order to improve...

I think the hardest part about making mistakes is that part about forgetting the shame, the guilt, the regrets, learning from your mistakes and finally moving on.

Half the time I remember the shame, the guilt, the regrets but quite often I left that part about remembering and learning from my past mistakes. Sometimes confronting with one's past can be both challenging and arduous but it is something I need to do every now and then so that I'll be reminded of the pain, hurt and sometimes anger I caused to others or felt because of my mistakes.

"Sure, everyone makes mistakes but that is perfectly alright so long as you learn from your mistakes."

Gee I wonder who said that, you know the thing about life is, it is not a testing or sounding board where you get a solution via the trial and error method. There are always consequences when you make a mistake and half the time your mistakes affect others around you and sometimes causes hurt and anger.

Ok so now what? Can we actually prevent making mistakes? I think yes, not always but sometimes yes, learn from others' mistakes and listen to what your elders have to offer and stop, really just stop thinking all about yourself, the world revolves around everyone, everyday, it is not just about you. I think half the mistakes I've made in my life are all due to my self-centeredness, sometimes we need to be considerate to others, which is why I think we should stop thinking all about ourselves, not stop thinking for ourselves neither is it stop thinking about ourselves, do you get it?

Sometimes not everyone gets to further their studies or gets the chance to even study, Miriam was one such unfortunate soul. She never had the opportunity to complete primary school and like all others, she started applying for jobs and found one as a waitress at a 6 star hotel’s restaurant.

It was a tuesday and she was taking down the customers' orders and on that day she served this family of 8, all are well-dressed and supposedly well educated and repeated their orders:

"Dear Sir and Mdm, so I repeat your order, you would like to have .........and an ice cleam..." Before she even finished her last sentence which was "Is that right?" the entire family started laughing and rolling their eyeballs and finally one said this "Excuse me, but you can't even pronounce ice cream? Or do you not know the word is spelt as CREAM and not CLEAM?" A second round of laughter accompanied that sentence.

Miriam blushed for awhile and then replied the following:

"Sirs and Madams, I never had the privilege to complete my primary education but that is ok, I have no one else to blame. But I think if you are that educated, you should correct my pronounciation and not make me your jester. If this is what education has to offer then I am glad I had none. Now ice CREAM it is." and she walked off

When we talk about educated folks, be it the yuppies or the Chinese educated generation people, what comes to our minds are those people who are well-bred, know all the etiquettes and dos and don’ts and basically are the polite ones. Ok maybe not all are that polite but generally there are quite a handful who are polite and wouldn’t do senseless stuff like laughing at others’ inadequacies i.e. what the family of 8 did to Miriam.

I think being smart the way you are is not a right but a gift and this gift does not entitle you to laugh at others inadequacies. Sure this may be some joke or something that’s just fun to you, but give it some thoughts and think about the damages you can inflict when you laugh at someone’s faults or weaknesses. Nobody wants to be stupid or vacuous, everybody would like to be talented, intelligentsias etc. Greatness comes from the willingness to help and teach those who are not as educated as you are, those who care not as well-read as you are, and intelligence is exhibited when you teach.

A boy I know of, Carlos is one such great guy who looks good on the outside and inside, well-versed in many languages and well-exposed to the world, this guy does not put on airs when it comes to meeting people and making friends, he don’t laugh at others inadequacies neither is he selfish when it comes to sharing his life experiences and correcting others’ mistakes. And for that I do think he lives a really rich life, it is all these little things that sometimes matter.

Another boy I know of, Sebas is another one such paragon of greatness, like Carlos, he is well-read and well-traveled oh did I mention this guy is rich too? Yeap a rich boy who knows nothing about putting on airs when it comes to meeting people who are less well-off and ignorant. Instead of making fun of these people, he teaches them. He once told me this “I think we are all smart for a reason, I may sound ridiculous but what if we are made the way we are so that we can help people?”

And I kinda think he’s right. I do think people who are better equipped with knowledge should help those who are not, its just like how the rich (if they have conscience) should help the unfortunate but then again you don’t have to be rich to help the unfortunate, you can just contribute a little of whatever you can to help the unfortunate. Ah well I may not sound convincing, you must be thinking why we should help others or teach others, what do we get in return but damn it people, sometimes we don’t have to do something to benefit ourselves and in any case I think laughing at someone’s inadequacies may well just be a shield, to prevent others from seeing your weaknesses, you amplify on others weaknesses but I would like to question your integrity as a person and quite honestly, I don’t see beauty from within but just pure ugliness behind that face of yours which might look angelic, decent or what have you.

I was busy snapping pictures at KL airport the other day when this cleaner lady came up to me and asked me the following:

"Eh there! Snap there lah girl! There's nothing over here! What is there to see? Crazy girl..." I responded with a shy smile and chuckled a bit, may she's right, I might just be a little crazy..*winks*

This was what I snapped




If you guys were to click on the picture, you'll see something's in the picture, something besides the tiling and decoration that's worth snapping...You see the deal is you'll always see something if you choose to.

The cleaner lady, with no offence, is just one of the many others who only notice what they want to and what they think are important and sometimes spot the differences only when it concerns them or when they get a prize for looking.

People these days seemed to be so busy and preoccupied with their lives that nothing else matters these days except for work and big hoo-ha headline news of tragedies, they no longer appreciate and acknowledge the little things that happen in the environment. A walk or trip on a bus or train represents no more than a way of getting somewhere, an airport is nothing but just an airport with nothing interesting to snap at since it looks the same all the time and unless there's people in it, there is really no picture of the site which you cannot get from the magazines or websites.

It is often too easy to take everything for granted, to not see the little things that used to matter due to one's hectic schedule but if you were to really start paying attention to the little things around you and continue looking at your life this way, you can be sure your life's so much richer than the rest...

Money is not everything but nobody can ever survive without money. Notice the word used, it's survive not live. You don't need money to live a fulfilling life or even just your life, but you definitely need money to survive. You don't need to let money dictate your life and teach you how to live, sometimes you really need to make things work for you not the other way round.

Sometimes I think money gives one the best of both worlds but sometimes I think they don't, as much pleasure as it brings, along comes with bitterness and tragedies. Sometimes people are just not content.

I think the hardest thing for most is to be content and happy with what you own and possess today, everyone is trying so hard to get the things they desire most which is probably why they never get to really live a life but just to survive and yes eventually live a life but a bitter one, one filled with so much of unhappiness and one that is constantly after something relentlessly not knowing when is enough. Life's a constant battle but why make it one that's only after money and not how to live a life of your own? Satisfy your basic needs and wants, sure by all means but also learn how to be content. This way your life would be much more happier and blessed.