It doesn't matter if you cry
Cry if your day's been bad
Cry if you're feeling sad
Cry if you must
It's not your fault that things turn up bad
no, not always even if it is you are entitled to cry
Question is when are you going to stop crying?
P.S. Don't cry to stage a production and soil my poem
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
I remember crying a few years ago to get people to recognise my pain and suffering. I was in fact suffering from what you called cramps and headache but no one practically paid much attention to me. Because there was another girl suffering from cramps and she was crying (I wasn't crying at that point yet).
Even when the message 'I'm in pain' was registered on my face, no one practically bothered about me, they were all busy attending to the other girl who was crying. It was then I decided I should cry to get some attention and let people know I need medication too and so I cried. The effect? People started running towards me and checking on me, giving me the same, pampered treatment as the other girl who was crying. And yes I was sent to the hospital eventually.
That particular night, I tossed and turned around, feeling angry and perturbed by what I've learnt that very day, cry to seek attention. I then remembered this particular incident, which my mum taught me how not to look at others' actions superficially. It was at the crematorium at Mount Vernon, where my maternal grandmother was cremated. The usual procedure before cremation was for the families to say a little prayer before bidding the person goodbye. The whole family together with some friends walked my grandmother to her final step before the body's swallowed in the ball of raging flame. Almost everyone cried when gran was cremated, but not my mum.
"Mum why didn't you cry?"
"Why should I?"
"Because you are sad and that's why you should cry, are you not sad since you didn't cry?"
"People do cry when they are sad, but not all, some people cry because they have to in order to create an impression, these tears are what we call crocodile tears. Sadness is not only recognized in the tears of those who shed them, sometimes people can be very quiet and not shed a tear and still be sad, or the ones feeling the most terrible inside out"
"Are you sad then mum?" (What a stupid question to ask!)
"Yes I am..."
I took my mum's words seriously and started observing people when they cry. I always asked myself the same old set of questions "Why are these people crying? Is she really sad and that's why she's crying?" and I came to realised the profound knowledge encapsulated in my mum's wise teachings.
People do cry to get attention, people do cry to create an impression that they care when they don't, people cry to show others they are the victims when at times they are not and so much more reasons why people cry.
Generally they fall under 3 categories, those who cry because they are genuinely upset, those who cry because they need to put on a good show and last but not least, those who cry to seek attention (Which one do you belong to? In case you are wondering, I don't basically ask myself those questions anymore, I know now how to differentiate and distinguish. Tears are not the only sign that one's sad or in pain and many failed to see that. I once know of a manipulative girl who used tears as her weapon against guys and her own kind. She basically cry to get things done her way, to make people see things the way she do, to make people think she's the only victim and no one else matters and I really hate her for being so fake but many don't see it my way and some even think I'm jealous of her. Please don't scare the bejesus out of me, I never wanted to be her so why would I be jealous anyway when I've never even once envied her. Rubbish.
Why is it then that only pain and suffering is only recognised in those who shed them? Why do people take things at face value and so superficially then? This is probably something which I'll never understand and not wish to know any o how. But please people, next time open your eyes wider, learn how to distinguish and tell when one's really sad and react appropriately, please do not ignore people just because they are not crying, please do not over react to those who cry and let them manipulate you in one way or the other or even form good impression of those who cry, crocodile tears don't exists for no reason or rhyme. If you choose to ignore my advice, good luck to you, you'll need them, tons of them in fact.
Even when the message 'I'm in pain' was registered on my face, no one practically bothered about me, they were all busy attending to the other girl who was crying. It was then I decided I should cry to get some attention and let people know I need medication too and so I cried. The effect? People started running towards me and checking on me, giving me the same, pampered treatment as the other girl who was crying. And yes I was sent to the hospital eventually.
That particular night, I tossed and turned around, feeling angry and perturbed by what I've learnt that very day, cry to seek attention. I then remembered this particular incident, which my mum taught me how not to look at others' actions superficially. It was at the crematorium at Mount Vernon, where my maternal grandmother was cremated. The usual procedure before cremation was for the families to say a little prayer before bidding the person goodbye. The whole family together with some friends walked my grandmother to her final step before the body's swallowed in the ball of raging flame. Almost everyone cried when gran was cremated, but not my mum.
"Mum why didn't you cry?"
"Why should I?"
"Because you are sad and that's why you should cry, are you not sad since you didn't cry?"
"People do cry when they are sad, but not all, some people cry because they have to in order to create an impression, these tears are what we call crocodile tears. Sadness is not only recognized in the tears of those who shed them, sometimes people can be very quiet and not shed a tear and still be sad, or the ones feeling the most terrible inside out"
"Are you sad then mum?" (What a stupid question to ask!)
"Yes I am..."
I took my mum's words seriously and started observing people when they cry. I always asked myself the same old set of questions "Why are these people crying? Is she really sad and that's why she's crying?" and I came to realised the profound knowledge encapsulated in my mum's wise teachings.
People do cry to get attention, people do cry to create an impression that they care when they don't, people cry to show others they are the victims when at times they are not and so much more reasons why people cry.
Generally they fall under 3 categories, those who cry because they are genuinely upset, those who cry because they need to put on a good show and last but not least, those who cry to seek attention (Which one do you belong to? In case you are wondering, I don't basically ask myself those questions anymore, I know now how to differentiate and distinguish. Tears are not the only sign that one's sad or in pain and many failed to see that. I once know of a manipulative girl who used tears as her weapon against guys and her own kind. She basically cry to get things done her way, to make people see things the way she do, to make people think she's the only victim and no one else matters and I really hate her for being so fake but many don't see it my way and some even think I'm jealous of her. Please don't scare the bejesus out of me, I never wanted to be her so why would I be jealous anyway when I've never even once envied her. Rubbish.
Why is it then that only pain and suffering is only recognised in those who shed them? Why do people take things at face value and so superficially then? This is probably something which I'll never understand and not wish to know any o how. But please people, next time open your eyes wider, learn how to distinguish and tell when one's really sad and react appropriately, please do not ignore people just because they are not crying, please do not over react to those who cry and let them manipulate you in one way or the other or even form good impression of those who cry, crocodile tears don't exists for no reason or rhyme. If you choose to ignore my advice, good luck to you, you'll need them, tons of them in fact.
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