Walk me Home
I've been walking home alot of late, either from Isa's place or from my old place, not because I have to, but because I like to, I choose to. I like having the 'alone time' you get when you are walking by yourself, stealing moments and spending them all by yourself. It's just me, walking past a park, lively shopping malls and few blocks of neighbourhood. Walking. Thinking. I think alot while I walk. I go over the details of my current affairs as I walk.
Sometimes I sing as I walk, rather loud at times but the traffic drowns me out. I would sometimes laugh aloud to myself when that happens, a few strangers that walk past me find me weird and perhaps alittle insance. I am of course, without doubt perfectly sane. I walk to resolve problems by thinking them over. Contemplating all the silly thoughts, shallow thoughts, the things I wish would work, but I know won't. With those out of the way, the answers are clear. No room for stray "if only" thoughts to creep in and mess my life. Today I was walking home reflecting on how different things are now and then and on the whole, I thought things have been rather good.
Things may be good because they aren't different, things may be good because they are different. Sometimes I wished things would stay the same, not that I am receptive to changes but because I enjoy embracing those moments or rather appreciate the way things are and at times it's due to sentimental reasons. On the other hand, I welcome changes not solely by the virtue I've grown sick and tired of the old stuff but because change improves one's life. The world's always revolving, things always change, people change too, at the end of the day it doesn't matter when, how and why, what matters is keeping hold of who you really are that makes for the one constant in life.
Monday, September 08, 2003
Love for a friend of mine
Isa gotten herself a male puppy, chihuahua breed and named it Bachiku! What a queer name one may wonder but it's her sister's dream of naming a dog bachiku one day when she starts keeping one and voila! According to Isa, Bachiku's damn adorable and well I'll have to judge it for myself when I see it. Oh it should be him! lolz I love dogs, have always loved them and will always love them. I kept a few back then and the one I dotted the most on was Charlie. He was not of any breed / cross breed and so on and so forth, he was just a little brown stray puppy that Dad brought home to accompany me for a few days and that few days became months and a few years or so before Dad gave him away as Charlie was growing much too big and noisy for my flat back then. I've missed Charlie terribly...yes till now....Somehow a part of me died when Charlie left. Somehow I'm not all that complete, one may wonder how can this be possible?
How can anyone feel that sad for a pet? Well to me he is more than a pet, he is a very dear friend of mine whom I've spent my happiest & saddest moments with and we have been company for each other, I've seen him grown from a puppy to a young doggy and I've showered him with my love and affections, all of which are priceless. My parents never understood how much he meant to me, to them, the adults, he is just 'it', he is just a pet. Later on, as I grow older, I tried explaining to my mother how much Charlie meant to me before and now and it was only then she was convinced that I in fact love Charlie. All these years, I've spent some quiet moments thinking about him, I would sit and wonder and ponder thoughts like if he's still alive, if he's happy and if he's been treated decently and so on and so forth but I know I'll never get the answers. I can only hope and wish it's well and healthy. I can't help feeling sad and guilty for I failed to protect my friend ("the pet"), failed to keep him with me, failed to honour my promises to him, I hope he still remembers and loves me for I have reserve a special place at the back of my head for him and I still love him. I do.
Sunday, September 07, 2003
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
