And you are...

I know you not for your social status, where you live, your job occupation and the school you are from, I know you for who you are, I have genuine interests in finding out what you are all about, forget about what you have to offer me, you are not some commodity that walks on two legs.

I was once told by someone that, a man loves you not when he cannot bring himself to show it to you how much he cares and I cannot agree more.

I'm not sure if being shy can be a valid justification for holding back or even fear of being rejected is a valid reason, all I know is, if you truly care, you'll give it a shot, regardless of the result, love's not a calculated risk.

Nip it in the bud for buds feel no pain.

Happy Birthday Singapore!

There is perhaps no such thing as a Chinese, Indian, Malay or Eurasian thing to do but rather a Singaporean way of doing things in Singapore. Over the years, I find it increasingly difficult to distinguish what is uniquely a Chinese, Indian, Malay or Eurasian custom, for the different races don't just indulge in their own race's customs and traditions but too what is known as a Singaporean culture that is common to us all regardless of race, language or religion. Besides it is not uncommon at all to see a Singaporean Chinese being invited to attend Deepavali celebration by his/her Indian counterpart, in a way, the many different ethnic races often welcome each other to attend their festive parties.

A jade bangle on a malay lady, a chinese wearing a nonya kebaya, a group of old ladies of different races and/or religions chatting happily at the void decks of HDB flats, young adults speaking singlish, a fusion of culture and languages is perhaps what makes Singapore a special place though it's size on the map is but a dot.

We've come a long way to get to where we are today, an interracial, democratic and equalized society with minimal prejudices and discrimination, interracial friendships and fellowships without prejudices, the mutual understanding and respect we share and have for each other's cultural lifestyle and habits and last but not least, more importantly a common language, which we all own a part of, Singlish, a fusion of english and various ethnic races' language, of which little explanation is required when spoken to a fellow Singaporean, something which outsiders aka foreigners just won't get.

A little "kayu" (clumsy in malay), a little "sian", a little "teh tarik sio" (hot tea with milk), a little sharing of festive goodies among various races, a little of yours and a little of theirs, a little fusion of cultural habits, a little of fusion of the various cuisine, yes, yes, a little fusion of this and that, that is perhaps what makes us uniquely Singaporeanish!

I can't help but feel that it is with such unique qualities that allows each and every Singapore citizen to progress individually and collectively together as a prosperous nation and hey Singapore, it's ya birthday again! Here's to a better Singapore in the making and may we progress like never before, Happy Birthday Singapore!

It bugs me to no end when people constantly call me a feminist. I hereby ban everyone from calling me that because I simply am not a feminist.

I don't advocate for equality between the sexes, all I've been doing is to advocate for respect for women from sexists, the male chauvinistic king kong pigs who believe that women should be treated differently from a sliding scale of bad to being treated poorly.

I dislike conservative ideas such as women in general should know how to cook, should stay home after marriage or after pregnancy so as to be a perfect wife or parent. I simply don't think it is the men's call to decide what should their wives do or know. I believe a marriage is ultimately a partnership, it means the wives should be the ones deciding to give up their career or not for family, they should be the ones deciding whether to learn culinary skills or not, they are afterall the ones undergoing such changes. It's a simple theory, you are responsible for yourself, as in which organizations to work for, when to quit etc etc, yes no? So going by this theory, it simply means as a human being, you decide what is it in life you want to learn, achieve, do and give up. It's very simple ay? So what is it exactly, about this theory that makes me a feminist?

Sorry for the long absence. I'm back!

Just a good 11 days ago, I bid my undergraduate days goodbye. 3 years of life experiences all jam packed into 2 t-chest boxes, 1 big luggage and 2 small luggages.

Gimme a lil bit more time to settle down before I start blogging again, in the meantime, go get yourself a good book to read.

Liv

Compare and contrast

Guy: "Women = bitches, too petty to be offended. You can't live without them and you can't live with them. Life's indeed a bitch"

Girl: "Men = self gratifying creatures, all they care about is themselves, with too simple views, debating with them is such waste of time. Sometimes you wonder why they even exist in the very first place."

Are we extreme or what? LOL

Slightly amused by what sheer coincidence of an article I was reading just today, right after I blogged about betrayal of trust yesterday.

In clear simple terms, the formula with regards to trust and the antonym of trust according to this author is as follows:

Trust = Naivety

Cynical = Clever

Somehow I cannot agree with his formula equations. What say you?

My friend asked me quite an interesting question today, that is what would it take to lose my friendship for good? I never really thought about that question before and so I thought about it real hard for awhile and then I realised there's not actually alot of things that any friend of mine needs to do to lose me forever, all they need to do is to betray my trust.

That can be done in the simplest ways, backstabbing, saying things that's not true about me, disclosing things that's supposed to be confidential and that's all really. I guess trust to me is really a big thing, you can be the worst friend to me ever and I might still have the heart to forgive you but once you betray my trust, I think we will then really be done with one another.

I think the greatest insult anyone can pay to their friends or then friends is to betray the trust the friends of theirs placed in them, what a fool that friend is for trusting you with his/her secrets, for trusting you will be a good friend who will settle issues directly with him/her, or at the very least for trusting you will be the friend who will not talk behind his/her back, at least not make things up to slander them.

Respecting trust is such a simple concept that's so often undermined and you often wonder why so when its basically the foundation to every relationship, between a husband and a wife, between a parent and a child, between a you and a me, why can't we really grasp the concept?

The world is such that there will always be people who complain, moan and bitch about their work, how much they dread doing them and so on. Such behaviour can be tolerated so long as at the crucial moment, they do their job and get things done, it doesn't matter if they complained about it or not, I rather have a complain King or Queen who gets things done rather than someone who don't complain but gets nothing done.

Because between the two evil, I think complain is a lesser one.

These days, practically everyone owns a blog, they write about their day to day activities, their thoughts, put up their kick ass photos and basically do a whole lot of things with their personal blogs. I am one of the bloggers who writes about her life experiences and sometimes from little episodes you share some of the life lessons she learnt and that's perhaps all that is to my blog. I don't blog about my daily activities so as to allow others to keep up with my life and yet ironically, that's what friends of mine have been using my blog for, as an information source to find out how I am faring with my life.

Some claimed that they know I am doing well when I blog about happy stuff and they will generally assume I am fine and all, hence they don't write to me or sometimes drop me a msg over msn these days. I don't quite get their reasoning seriously, particularly when I am not one of the bloggers who blog about their activities from lunch to bedtime story on a day to day or weekly basis. I write only when I have something that makes a little sense to share and to also record down some memorable experiences so that I will be able to reminisce the good and bad times.

I must say that I don't actually have all the time in the world for everyone to call or message me over msn or write me a mail but some selected few who matter should at least not visit my blog and stop at there, what happened to all those great engaging conversations we used to have?

Blogs are nothing but projected impressions which bloggers would like their readers to have and indulge in and that is all to them. It is really not a hard concept, basically it's I choose what I want you to know put it up and you read it. You can't possibly know everything else about the writer, you can't even find out more about the writer just by reading the blogger's blog. Why indulge in a one way street communication when you can have a lively two way communication with your friend with a mail, a ring, a text? Are you really satisfied with just reading about what I have to say?

I must have blogged so much about technology about how it rips us apart from one another and why is it that after reading all these entries you are still not getting the message? Blog is also part of today's technology, just like birthday alarms, it will separate you from me. IT will motivate you to stop talking to me, stop understanding me and stop caring for me. Conversations are part and parcel of relationships, stop it and the relationship ends. Are you ready to bid me goodbye then?

If not, why are you STILL READING? Pick up the PHONE, write me a MAIL or send me a TEXT, whatever, you know you matter when I bother, so seriously do something and stop sending me the wrong messages that you don't bother about me no more.

Waiting

I was having a conversation with a friend just a few days ago and we were just on the topic of how long must one wait for someone they think they are in love with before moving on with their life or simply moving on to a new target.

Let's put my friend's view into perspectives first. He said time is not really of the essence here but a reasonable period of time for anybody to wait for an answer or acceptance from the one they supposedly fallen head over heels for would most definitely have to be 6 months but then again he spent 6 years staying in love with someone and waiting for her answer and too for her to change her mind about her decision. Apparently, he was not so lucky, she did give him an answer and it was negative but he decided to wait for her to change her mind anyway and it took him in all, 6 years. When asked why was he that persistent, he simply said the following "because I truly liked her"

I have nothing but admiration for his patience and his justification for his persistency, which may be seen by most as being obstinate and stubborn and perhaps he was doomed or damned from the very start. And no doubt 6 years is a very long time and I cannot help but to feel sorry for him because at the end of it, she never did change her mind. One may even question if my friend is at all dense or daft so much so that he didn't quite get the answer of no in his head, but the deal is, he was perfectly clear of her decision and in fact he always knew her decision but he decided to wait regardless what because he felt she is the one and only person meant for him and if he was to move on quickly to another target or person then, it just goes to show he didn't like her that much to begin with. I cannot agree more with him. Still I feel sad for him and I am sure she felt sad too, at least I would. Sometimes it is quite a pain to not be able to reciprocate another's affections for you and I've been there, seen that, done that, it hurts especially when you care for that person as a particularly good friend or someone whom you are equally involved in his life.

So when should one give up when their targets say no? There is really no hard and fast rules on this but one thing to look out for is the mourning period. If you truly like someone and tried to win his/her heart but to no avail, the last thing you would ever want to do is to move on to a new target straight after rejection, because to a certain extent you are hurting too because you've just got rejected and it is not wise to just end up with anyone else who just conveniently comes your way to fill up the void as a result of the rejection and secondly, which is also perhaps the most important reason, the person who rejected you will think lesser of you if you moved on too quickly without a mourning period, he/she would probably just reach the conclusion that you never liked them that much anyway and somehow they should be glad with the decisions they made. Is moving on too quickly without mourning period a form of disrespect for the person you then liked? Probably so. Just put yourself in his/her shoes, would you not have reached the same reasoning? I know I would.

The situation is analogous to that of a relationship, every relationship, regardless of the fact that it was great or not, deserves a mourning period when it ends. That means both of the parties need to mourn for their loss, whether they think of it as a loss or not, it is a basic form of respect and too a good opportunity for one to mend his/her broken heart before moving on to learn how to give again in a new relationship. I've always believed that if you never truly recovered from the hurt the previous relationship brought or caused to you, you can somehow never quite give as freely as you would like to in the next relationship because you are more often than not, reminded of the pain caused previously and might subconsciously bring on negative energy to the new relationship and act all defensive and try to protect your feelings and thus not giving your 100%. Now nobody deserves anything less than 101% when it comes to relationships.

Even if you don't feel as if you have been hurt by the previous relationship, you still need to give yourself some time to consolidate your thoughts and get some sense of direction before running around in every direction and with the end result of you being one pathetic confused, deeply saddened headless chicken, never quite made it anywhere near the finishing line. And even if you don't want to do that, spare a thought for the other person whom you've been seeing for a while (and on the other hand, the person whom you've been after for sometime) and give them some respect by mourning, reasonably, I feel a month or two is acceptable but then again who am I to set such limits and impose it on anyone really? And what happens if during this mourning period you meet the one and should you let the one go just because of this mourning period thing? No, in such a situation, it is perfectly fine to break out of the mourning period because you can never quite easily find another the one who makes you feel the way you feel.

All of that being said, one should not be all that persistent and obstinate when the other party you are courting says no clearly, once or twice or a few times. Sometimes the celebrated formula you see in those television series don't always work in real life. Relationships are hard, you just have to understand this, that certain things are not meant to be and will never be, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it, the end result is the same in that you will always end up where you started, back to square one. And to save yourself from being loathed at, it is important to not pester and try make things work for you by trying and trying and trying, one must know limits and respect them, only that way can you guys remain as happy and great friends, even if you guys stopped being friends at least he/she will remember you as someone with integrity or even someone nice whom they missed out on.

Mensa, so what?

The latest season of the Apprentice is back and this time round, Donald Trump handpicked the candidates and on the face of it, most of them seemed to possess really great credentials, you get some member from Mensa, a graduate from Harvard business school, self made multi millionaire networth 8 million dollars with no education and in her own words, she is totally self made and many more attorneys and so on.

Prima facie, they seemed to be all really bright individuals, especially Tarek, the Mensa guy but behold, qualifications may not necessarily match up to intelligence or even common sense! Well, I used to have great admiration for people who are part of the Mensa club, I mean it is most certainly big deal, they are afterall the top 2% brightest people in whichever population you and I live in, but I started doubting its quality once someone supposedly famous got into the club because for whatever reason, it might be due to the bad impressions I have come to form because of her loud and foul mouth and sometimes crude so to speak, I just don't think she had that much of the grey matter to begin with. But I stress one point, I don't think she is dumb but I don't think she is that bright as well.

What does the Mensa test really comprise? I have not sat for it before but I have at least sat for some very similar IQ test, reputable nationwide BBC IQ tests and so on and my scores? All you need to know is that my score don't fall below the average and neither is it at the average and as for how much above the average, it is really not important. And after sitting through all these sort of IQ tests, I came to a conclusion, in that a person can easily do very well in the tests if he/she is good in mathematics and logical reasoning. It is but quite a technical test if I may say so. Apart from those tests being timed and all, they don't necessarily test your reactivity to changes, your street smartness and so on and so forth. It tests only part of your intelligence it does not represent all. There are so many other factors to look at when you describe someone as intelligence and hence I am always very cautious with regards to describing people with the adjective intelligent.

Season 5 of the Apprentice just proved my points, Tarek, is one supposedly smart ass who is a member of the Mensa club in the United States of America and he failed terribly in his task as project manager, poor leadership skills, poor management skills, poor thinking skills, zero creativity and again poor strategical skills, what does it really tell you? Supposedly if you were to ask me to work with a Mensa member, I will most certainly let him/her have most of his/her ways because they are supposedly smart and are supposedly able to think on their feet and come up with really bright ideas, yes no? Unfortunately this is not the case, apart from being hot and distributing free duffle bags with no strings attached and apart from leeching on his member's idea of what slogan to put on the blimp and relying on most of his team members to sell the memberships of Sam's club, I really don't know what else he contributed, seriously. There was no gimmick to draw in the crowd, no freebies to entice people to sign up for the memberships and so on and so forth. It is really very simple marketing strategy at the end of the day and he failed terribly on his task and in Trump's words, Tarek is overrated and I cannot agree more!

Also it does not necessarily mean that as a mensa member (note capital M's gone) you are definitely smarter than the rest of the 98% of the population that lives in your country, it may be that the rest of the smart people in that 98% cannot just be bothered to pay and sit for the mensa test and then pay again for the annual subscriptions to stay in the smart club.

When other nationalities describe Singaporeans as narrow-minded tight asses, you know they are right when news of Singapore screening the full uncensored version of Brokeback Mountain hits the headlines of other countries' broadsheets. We sure make the headlines for the weirdest things if you ask me.

You will also know that they are right when you see articles on bloggers who posed naked on their blogs or more recently, news articles on cheerleader's sex clip stored in her phone, uploaded by either her supposedly arch rival who stole her phone to upload such scandalous clip up on the internet or by some unknown person who found her phone and decided to upload the clip anyway.

And eventually, everyone started to search for the clip on the internet, out of curiosity or whatever, I don't really care what is the motive. What I care about is, quite a number of people posted snapshots of the clip on their blogs, some criticising her and most laughing at her. What sort of world are we all living in?

I am not saying it is perfectly alright to engage in pre-marital sex, I don't think it is, but then again we are living in a modern society, where such choices of sleeping with your partners or not are made based on your values, your opinions and society has no right to impose their views on you.

And just because she slept with her boyfriend, she is a slut? Woah, that's alot of sluts we are talking about then, I mean don't alot of people engage in such acts with their partners these days? It is her prerogative, so long as she is of the legal age to consent to such acts. And shouldn't a slut be someone who behaves promiscuously?

Quick to judge, hesitant to sympathise is the new era you and I both live in. I am utterly disgusted with the lack of sympathy in the community. This is not some porn star we are talking and laughing about here, this is a student, a young adult whose life is perhaps ruined, can you imagine that? I can and that's why I am outraged at everyone who is laughing at her and calling her names. What if you were her? And with all that micro cameras in toilets and hostels, god knows when it will be your turn.

He said "I never liked plants with no roots"

Same goes for me. I have never been quite a flower kind of person, although I have indeed received some before, mostly sunflowers, not that it is my favourite but people gave it to me because they think it reflects the cheery nature of me and too implies how I sometimes manage to brighten their supposedly bad days, I feel very flattered of course but one thing that most people don't really know is, I find it almost upsetting to see the flowers wither.

But I am digressing, the reason why I too like plants with roots is because they are firmly rooted to the ground, like all people with integrity who adhere to their principles and they always remember how important it is for one to remember one's roots because that way they can always stay true to themselves in a world that strips us off our real selves every single day and night, reducing us to bare beings with no souls and presences and of course more importantly, we are able to remain humble and not conceited.

Flowers on the other hand, is a very good analogy of what most people have become or will become later on as they climb up the ladder of supposedly great success. They once had roots no? Then someone snipped them off and sells them. They are pretty, but that's all to them really. Interpret it another way, their new found success took away their roots and humbleness from them, and for all you know people who cannot appreciate their origins and the need to remain humble, may find their success shortlived. Either that or they will just become like the flowers, great on the outside, empty on the inside, sooner or later the emptiness will just consume the whole of them. So much for hankering after all the material things in life that don't necessarily make you happy.

I still like my plants with roots better.

Love is not about loving someone who is conveniently there and who has always been there.

Neither is love about filling up the void you feel when you are alone.

True democracy is often shortlived, despotism on the other hand, is longevous.

And I quote from my favourite book of all times, Amy Tan's Joyluck Club (from chapter without wood)

"She [mother] said that if I listened to her, later I would know what she knew: where true words came from, always from up high, above everything else. And if I didn't listen to her, she said my ear would bend too easily to other people, all saying words that had no lasting meaning, because they came from the bottom of their hearts, where their own desires lived, a place where I could not belong."

"A girl is like a young tree...you must stand tall and listen to your mother standing next to you. That is the only way to grow strong and straight. But if you bend to listen to other people, you will grow crooked and weak. You will fall to the ground with the first strong wind. And then you will be like a weed, growing wild in any direction, running along the ground until someone pulls you out and throw you away."

Hi all,

taking a break from this space as exams are nearing and hence this space won't be worth checking out till after 23rd January 2006. Before I go, here's one last post. So till then, see you all next year!

Regards
Liv

I was part of something which I am proud of

It's been about two or three weeks since I handed over my Singsoc duties as a Chief Editor and a committee member to the juniors and I am somewhat feeling the pinch which I never thought would be possible.

Forget about what those people said about singsoc being a political entity full of political creatures, truth be told, there's politics everywhere you go and in fact the only way to shun away from politics is to be away from people. The equation is simple, people = politics, not very complicated indeed. Which makes me really wonder, when people don't run for positions in Singsoc because they don't want to be tangled in all these politics and come out of it being seen as the bad person or lesser the person they really are, are they trying to imply that everyone who ran for their positions actually enjoyed being tangled up in all this mess and come out being viewed as a person lesser than they truly are then?

I know people's been saying things about me(whoever they are, whichever religion they subscribe to, may their god be with them), like I haven't been doing much for Singsoc this time round (referring to my second consecutive year as a comm member not during my first year).

Sure, I've stopped giving as much as I used to as compared to my first year because from day one when I decided to stay on because someone who ran for my position resigned hours after the election and the new committee needed me to be there (I specifically said to them that I will only stay on if you guys need me to but as a dormant Chief Editor who will still publish the Lions' Roar as per normal but would not like to participate in meetings unless its meetings concerning Adnd and I will be in active mode once sssm starts preparing for Adnd) and because I told them before the election that I will support them no matter what after the election and this is my way of fulfilling that promise. I did all that I could for SSSM as a committee member, apart from not attending some meetings, what else have I not been doing?

And to have people saying such things about me? Was I upset? Of course, I was and still am but hey what do these people know about what I've done for Singsoc, what I've given to Singsoc and people in my committee have eyes and even if nobody recognises what I did, I have at the end of the day been part of something which I am still proud of and along the journey I've done things which I never knew I was capable of and I've learnt new things through this process, so yeah, I will be upset for awhile but I will get over with it and let it all go. Nobody will be able to take such pride away from me, not even gossips or rumours.

Watching the two adnd videos which I've created, I cannot help missing the whole crazy experience of organising adnds, the toughest event (and you can call it the bitch event of all events SSSM have to organise) and yet the most memorable event organised by my committees because we spent so much time working on it together as a team and whether most of them realised it or not, those times were actually fun of course fun when you reflect about it.

During my first year, I was the entertainment IC and I was basically in charge of all the performances to be held on the Adnd night itself. It was pretty crazy because our original plan was to abort organising Adnd and then sometime during the easter break, we decided that we will have the Adnd and it was during the easter break, when most of the people were then either back at home or away on trips, that I had to source out for performers and thankfully, I managed to get a few really good performers for the night and managed to sell the idea that we should have an interactive salsa dance workshop on the night itself to the dance society who thankfully was happy to do it. The salsa dance workshop was well received and I was really glad that the crowd was spontaneous and they enjoyed themselves. I was once again part of something which I am proud of.

During my second year, I still sourced out for performers and the only thing that was different this time round was, I scripted a play and participated in it. All those crazy hours spent on editing the scripts, directing the plays and rehearsing them was all worth it because people enjoyed the play and this is another thing which I was part of and am proud of.

Through Singsoc, I was able to grow and develop into someone who is capable of almost anything if she tries hard enough and through Singsoc I was able to forge some very genuine friendships and most of which holds a very dear place in my heart and I am thankful for the experience and such great friends, through Singsoc I've weathered storms with these supportive friends, through Singsoc I've seen my friends at their best and their worst moments and vice versa.

Sense of satisfaction, sense of self-fulfillment, whatever you call it, I have them all and what gave me the opportunity to feel this great about myself, it is once again Singsoc, so I am truly grateful to Singsoc for letting me tryout things I would probably not try, for letting me learn something out of it, for letting me have all the fun I could possibly have, for letting me forge such genuine friendships with people, for letting me be in such the good company I was with (referring to my committees) and most importantly, for letting me be part of something which I am proud of and will be proud of for a very long time.

My friend made a very interesting point with regards to the posting on the rude shop assistant, that the guy have some serious identity crisis, he thinks he is Yoda, or Yoda he thinks he is.

Lol...hilarious...I had to post this right?

LOL