Sometimes growing up can be quite a pain. You tend to lose quite a fair bit of things in the process of growing up. Yourself, your friends, your faith and trust in people, contentments of life are just a few of the things you lose along the way. Somehow like that is not enough, life somehow always gets a little too complicated, you begin to feel insecure and wonder what you will become or rather who you will become in 3 or 5 years time, you start wondering where you'll stand on the social ladder ten years down the road, you worry unnecessarily.
 
You start realizing what an ugly world you are living in, you find people whom you once called your friends turned against you, you find friendship is but a word like trust, both of which are devoid of meaning and all emotions, you start understanding how selfish people are, you start seeing the nasty side of life. Welcome to the dark side.
 
You find great difficulty making more new friends as you grow older each year, you find it difficult to build that connection, you even find great difficulty keeping your friends. Friends whom you have kept so close to turned out to be the ones who have gone on a rampage to backstab you furiously, friends whom you have lost touch with make a reappearance in your life and you realised these are actually your real friends, the real ones who really matter. (I will do another posting on this in the next few days)
 
You get your heart broken by some flirts who are playing the field or even worse you find no one decent to date, you find yourself single and very available but there's no one there for you, no one at the receiving end. Sure bachelors and bachelorettes are now trendy, who needs a partner when you are young, hot and have tons of friends who will hang out with you at pubs and clubs? Haha, reality then begin to set in, your friends are all getting attached, one by one and before you know it, you are the last one left. You are then left with no companionship other than your mug on your desk and you wonder why, why is this happening to you when you are actually attractive or appealing in terms of looks and/or personality.
 
You look at your certificates and medals on the walls and shelves and you feel no satisfaction, you find yourself feeling hollow and empty inside out. You start looking for a job and realised you are either underqualified or overqualified and you are not getting the plush job you were once promised if you get your first class or second upper class degrees, you start wondering why in the world did you worked your ass off back in school to get a job that's not paying you well or a position which you are dispensable, the company will not crush or crumbled without you. You felt you are no longer important. Or you finally gotten the job and pay you wanted, 2 years down the road you are retrenched because you are overpaid with your experience and standing in the company, in other words, your job has been replaced by some fresh graduates who can too perform your functions at a cheaper rate, once again welcome to the club of dispensables, where old things never go, new ones never come, everyone is dispensable.
 
Sometimes I wonder why life has become so complicated and confusing, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel bitter at how complicated life has become, sometimes I just wish I can revert back to the days where Barbie dolls are the coolest toys on earth, where sharing a packet of sweets with the person beside me will make her my friend and we'll have loads of fun together.
 
But would you rather live in such simple, naive and uncomplicated life or would you rather gather what you learn everyday into the ever growing encyclopedia of ways of dealing with life and people? Would this simplicity guarantee happiness? Would this life free from complications be a fulfilling, enriching one which I will reminisce over and over and over and again and again? Would there actually be any memories or things which I can reminisce about? Maybe not, because missing out the huge part of growing up, that huge part of dealing with complications with life (no matter how traumatic and tough it may be), that part of life which I will learn alot of things, gain a lot of knowledge and so on and so forth, will give me nothing to recollect about! Nothing! So being the sick psycho if you would so desire to call me, I will actually miss the bumpy ride I'm currently on, I will actually miss everything I have learnt and sought after, I will even miss my mistakes, no matter how painful some has inflicted.
 
You might have wished for the hands of clock to turn back at times so that you can erase those painful memories, those moments when you have felt utterly disappointed with people and life, moments when you felt lost and confused and so on. But did you know, these moments are whatever that shaped and made you who you are today? Somehow life's a mixed bag of issues, most of which are complicated and frustrating, somehow everyone who's reading this knows somehow we'll all make it, we'll all be able to pontificate upon life and share the experiences and bumpy rides we have had been on with our children, nieces, nephews so on and so forth and as we do that an euphoria of mixed emotions will emanate and we'll know our life has been well lived. Life is sometimes but a wealth of knowledge and mixed bag of emotions eh?

Chain letters
 
This is one reason why I admire this guy so much. This is what he wrote
 
"Friends and acquaintances alike,Hope you people are having a good day.I'm just thinking out loud here, so forgive the irrelevant ramblings. Recently, I noticed a trend in the bulletins and that is, the number of chain-letters (or chain-bulletins) has increased. One of these is some Latin mumbo-jumbo prayer that supposedly bestows death if it does not get circulated. Day after day, someone posts a bulletin with the same subject: "he died", until this seems to be the predominant topic. It is a little amusing though, I must admit and the hilarity is that the so-called curse might be something out of a Harry Potter movie/book (correct me if I'm wrong).My concern is not so much the posting of chain letters but more so the motivation behind such posts. These letters have been designed to scare and by the looks of it, they have succeeded in instilling fear amongst us.I am not going to demand that these chain letters stop being posted since it is not in my capacity to do so (i.e. there should always be freedom of expression), and I am aware that anything is possible (so why take the chance of not sending it out, right?). However, I do think it's worth considering this: In our lifetimes, we would come across many things that scare us. Sometimes the threat is real and sometimes it is perceived. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I am exempt of fear. There are times when I too feel the very fear that strikes at the depths of your heart.But whatever the threat, I put forth that if you have faith and believe that ultimately good triumphs over evil, then there is really nothing to fear. Going by the number of chain-mails I failed to send out, I'm probably supposed to have been killed more than ten times over (either that, or I should have turned into a rubber-necked chicken). But alas, it was not meant to be.Personally, the two main reasons why I do not circulate chain-letters are: (i) I don't believe in them; and(ii) The curse has to end somewhere. If people keep sending them out, they're only going to be keeping the "curse" alive, and worse still, they are "cursing" their friends...at least send them to your enemies for crying out loud (kidding).That being said, if at any time, out of fear, you feel that you absolutely must post a chain-letter you can forward it to me via email/msn/friendster/etc. and I would do a raindance and dispel whatever curse there is. Perhaps, I'm lucky to still be alive, some may think. I guess, it's because I merely refuse to die...not yet anyway...haha.The other kinds of bulletins which I find more annoying are the ones that are in poor taste. These are worse than the chain-mails since in this case, the sender seems to take a delight/pleasure in the subject matter. In the news, we hear about how terrorists have been going aroud beheading people. I think it's absolutely tasteless to post a bulletin circulating videos of the actual beheading of victims. Violence in movies is one thing. Brutality in reality is another. Then again, this is my opinion and to each his own. Of course, if the face of the person on the video is someone you know, would you be able to sleep at night?I think I'll end here before I step on too many toes. In any case, thank you for your time and have an eventful day.
 
Best Regards
xx"
 
Gosh don't you just love him? Ok I'm in awe and am very charmed! HAHA The name has been changed to xx to protect the innocent! HAHA

Someone wrote me an email asking me if it is actually ok if she paraphrased some works of mine and post it up her blog.

Guess what was my reply? I said "Sure, go ahead. So long as you don't paraphrase the entire article and you add in new issues or include your own personal experiences now and then, I'm perfectly fine with that."

My friends said I must be nuts to allow someone infringe my copyrights but no, I don't think so. So long as she don't paraphrased the entire article and she introduce new perspectives of hers and/or her own experiences which she can relate to what I have came up with, that is perfectly fine, there is certainly no infringement of my rights. Words unlike designs are not exactly some intellectual property which you can protect but stories are. However if someone were to paraphrase some portions of my work and relate them to their own experiences, that's not copying!

A lot of writers out there don't come up with original stories or phrases or even the sentence structures themselves. Some writers research for materials and used those materials as their resources for their writing bacon bits, some writers write their fiction and/or non fiction stories based on their experiences and sometimes they based it on what they have read and so on and so forth. If I were to read a book about self-enrichment today and extract certain underlying issues or principles and incorporate them into my writings, that's not copying either, and sometimes I can take it further one step by interpreting it my own way and explain it to people, is that copying too?

I think it is perfectly ok to base your writing bacon bits on what others write sometimes but use them as a guide not copy wholesale, give some thoughts to what people write and learn from them, that's how I improve, I read newspapers columnists' articles, story books and so on and so forth. I use them as a guide as to how to improve my style, how a morale lesson learnt from someone's experience can too be my resource for my writings. Sometimes we need to learn from others in order to improve...

I think the hardest part about making mistakes is that part about forgetting the shame, the guilt, the regrets, learning from your mistakes and finally moving on.

Half the time I remember the shame, the guilt, the regrets but quite often I left that part about remembering and learning from my past mistakes. Sometimes confronting with one's past can be both challenging and arduous but it is something I need to do every now and then so that I'll be reminded of the pain, hurt and sometimes anger I caused to others or felt because of my mistakes.

"Sure, everyone makes mistakes but that is perfectly alright so long as you learn from your mistakes."

Gee I wonder who said that, you know the thing about life is, it is not a testing or sounding board where you get a solution via the trial and error method. There are always consequences when you make a mistake and half the time your mistakes affect others around you and sometimes causes hurt and anger.

Ok so now what? Can we actually prevent making mistakes? I think yes, not always but sometimes yes, learn from others' mistakes and listen to what your elders have to offer and stop, really just stop thinking all about yourself, the world revolves around everyone, everyday, it is not just about you. I think half the mistakes I've made in my life are all due to my self-centeredness, sometimes we need to be considerate to others, which is why I think we should stop thinking all about ourselves, not stop thinking for ourselves neither is it stop thinking about ourselves, do you get it?

Sometimes not everyone gets to further their studies or gets the chance to even study, Miriam was one such unfortunate soul. She never had the opportunity to complete primary school and like all others, she started applying for jobs and found one as a waitress at a 6 star hotel’s restaurant.

It was a tuesday and she was taking down the customers' orders and on that day she served this family of 8, all are well-dressed and supposedly well educated and repeated their orders:

"Dear Sir and Mdm, so I repeat your order, you would like to have .........and an ice cleam..." Before she even finished her last sentence which was "Is that right?" the entire family started laughing and rolling their eyeballs and finally one said this "Excuse me, but you can't even pronounce ice cream? Or do you not know the word is spelt as CREAM and not CLEAM?" A second round of laughter accompanied that sentence.

Miriam blushed for awhile and then replied the following:

"Sirs and Madams, I never had the privilege to complete my primary education but that is ok, I have no one else to blame. But I think if you are that educated, you should correct my pronounciation and not make me your jester. If this is what education has to offer then I am glad I had none. Now ice CREAM it is." and she walked off

When we talk about educated folks, be it the yuppies or the Chinese educated generation people, what comes to our minds are those people who are well-bred, know all the etiquettes and dos and don’ts and basically are the polite ones. Ok maybe not all are that polite but generally there are quite a handful who are polite and wouldn’t do senseless stuff like laughing at others’ inadequacies i.e. what the family of 8 did to Miriam.

I think being smart the way you are is not a right but a gift and this gift does not entitle you to laugh at others inadequacies. Sure this may be some joke or something that’s just fun to you, but give it some thoughts and think about the damages you can inflict when you laugh at someone’s faults or weaknesses. Nobody wants to be stupid or vacuous, everybody would like to be talented, intelligentsias etc. Greatness comes from the willingness to help and teach those who are not as educated as you are, those who care not as well-read as you are, and intelligence is exhibited when you teach.

A boy I know of, Carlos is one such great guy who looks good on the outside and inside, well-versed in many languages and well-exposed to the world, this guy does not put on airs when it comes to meeting people and making friends, he don’t laugh at others inadequacies neither is he selfish when it comes to sharing his life experiences and correcting others’ mistakes. And for that I do think he lives a really rich life, it is all these little things that sometimes matter.

Another boy I know of, Sebas is another one such paragon of greatness, like Carlos, he is well-read and well-traveled oh did I mention this guy is rich too? Yeap a rich boy who knows nothing about putting on airs when it comes to meeting people who are less well-off and ignorant. Instead of making fun of these people, he teaches them. He once told me this “I think we are all smart for a reason, I may sound ridiculous but what if we are made the way we are so that we can help people?”

And I kinda think he’s right. I do think people who are better equipped with knowledge should help those who are not, its just like how the rich (if they have conscience) should help the unfortunate but then again you don’t have to be rich to help the unfortunate, you can just contribute a little of whatever you can to help the unfortunate. Ah well I may not sound convincing, you must be thinking why we should help others or teach others, what do we get in return but damn it people, sometimes we don’t have to do something to benefit ourselves and in any case I think laughing at someone’s inadequacies may well just be a shield, to prevent others from seeing your weaknesses, you amplify on others weaknesses but I would like to question your integrity as a person and quite honestly, I don’t see beauty from within but just pure ugliness behind that face of yours which might look angelic, decent or what have you.

I was busy snapping pictures at KL airport the other day when this cleaner lady came up to me and asked me the following:

"Eh there! Snap there lah girl! There's nothing over here! What is there to see? Crazy girl..." I responded with a shy smile and chuckled a bit, may she's right, I might just be a little crazy..*winks*

This was what I snapped




If you guys were to click on the picture, you'll see something's in the picture, something besides the tiling and decoration that's worth snapping...You see the deal is you'll always see something if you choose to.

The cleaner lady, with no offence, is just one of the many others who only notice what they want to and what they think are important and sometimes spot the differences only when it concerns them or when they get a prize for looking.

People these days seemed to be so busy and preoccupied with their lives that nothing else matters these days except for work and big hoo-ha headline news of tragedies, they no longer appreciate and acknowledge the little things that happen in the environment. A walk or trip on a bus or train represents no more than a way of getting somewhere, an airport is nothing but just an airport with nothing interesting to snap at since it looks the same all the time and unless there's people in it, there is really no picture of the site which you cannot get from the magazines or websites.

It is often too easy to take everything for granted, to not see the little things that used to matter due to one's hectic schedule but if you were to really start paying attention to the little things around you and continue looking at your life this way, you can be sure your life's so much richer than the rest...

Money is not everything but nobody can ever survive without money. Notice the word used, it's survive not live. You don't need money to live a fulfilling life or even just your life, but you definitely need money to survive. You don't need to let money dictate your life and teach you how to live, sometimes you really need to make things work for you not the other way round.

Sometimes I think money gives one the best of both worlds but sometimes I think they don't, as much pleasure as it brings, along comes with bitterness and tragedies. Sometimes people are just not content.

I think the hardest thing for most is to be content and happy with what you own and possess today, everyone is trying so hard to get the things they desire most which is probably why they never get to really live a life but just to survive and yes eventually live a life but a bitter one, one filled with so much of unhappiness and one that is constantly after something relentlessly not knowing when is enough. Life's a constant battle but why make it one that's only after money and not how to live a life of your own? Satisfy your basic needs and wants, sure by all means but also learn how to be content. This way your life would be much more happier and blessed.

Hello women, god made us the way we are for a reason.

I think in today's modern society, women are trying too hard to succeed in a men's world but hello! Who said it must be a men's world? The world belongs to everybody, too long have we been trying to prove to our male bosses that we are as capable as the men, as efficient as the men and we deserve the equivalent treatment and pay like what our male counterparts are getting but my point is what for?

Men are sometimes unforgiving judgmental idiots who labels women as weak, disabled and incompetent before or without even giving them a chance to try it, come on men we deserve more credit than that, surely god created us for a reason other than soothing your ego. And my dear female counterparts, god made us the way we are for a reason, we don't have to try so hard to succeed in a men's world.

No doubt we have our differences in terms of physical built and strength, we still don't have to succeed in their world, do things their way to show we can and we have the potential to do so, we can do things our own way and achieve the same results and still be a winner who saves the day so what is this stupid damn thing about playing the game by men's rules, nobody can define how to play a corporate game or what have you and I mean nobody. So please don't belittle yourself and insult your fellow women folks by doing things men's way or try so hard to succeed in men's world.

P.S: Not all men thinks the same way as those mentioned above and there are always exceptions, there are some decent men who respect women and these men are just so adorable aye?Men who are offended by my post or guilty of the above i.e judgmental fools, get out!

For fame?

A boy I know asked me if I blog because I want to be famous. I was puzzled and troubled when he posed that question to me. I may have started a blog because I like to share my writing bits with friends or people who enjoy my style of writing, I may have continued blogging because I derives satisfaction knowing how my writing bits motivates some people and it actually entertains people. But for fame? That is just so off.

I cannot comprehend why he actually asked that since he is some sort of buddy and he should know what I am like, to blog for fame? How is that remotely possible? I mean yes, some people write because they want to be famous or for attention, but me? Well I may want recognition for my works but being recognised and being famous is two different things. I never dreamed about being famous or wanted to be famous, I just write because I like to and I like to share bits and pieces of the moments in my life with people because they may just entertain people and somehow I hope my writing bits motivates people and bring some optimism to people's lives, showing them how their lives can be too a better one by looking at it from a better and different angle but definitely not to be famous.

Forgive me if I sound pompous but quite honestly, I don't blog to be famous or for attention, believe it or not, I can't handle attention, too much attention sometimes make me uncomfortable and it makes everything seemed so contrived. Yes, some years later, I would love to write for a living that is when I accumulated enough wisdom to write and entertain people, yes sometime soon, I would love to publish a book about one man's courage and strength and that man is my Father, yes sometime soon I would love to do some freelance writing to earn some of my travelling expenses, anything else but not for fame.

I just realised he removed me from his friendster list of friends and I guess that means we are friends no more. Must be my cold turkey treatment, but can you blame me? Well I think not, that is just someone who ain't worthy of my friendship. I wouldn't want to put you all through the trouble of reading what happened, you guys just need to know I gave the cold turkey treatment, deleted his numbers from my mobile, deleted him from my icq and msn messenger and soon he got the message and deleted me from his friendster, possibly msn messenger and icq.

In a way, this depicts the cruel and harsh fact that friends do come and go and yes I mean DO. Someone whom you may be sharing a nice ice cream sundae at some cafe today may be your 'friend no more' tommorow. Sometimes people leave and they stay that way and you remain forgotten. I think the best way of dealing with such situations is to forget that person too, there is not really a point to get all upset and spend some time pondering and wondering what actually happened or what caused it. Sometimes no reasons are needed to end a friendship. There is really no cause for concern, if someone can just take you off their list of friends without finding out what exactly is going on.

What you can perhaps and want to do now is to treasure your friendship today, remember not to take the person for granted, treasure every moment you guys shared and make the best out of the period of time when you guys are still friends, this will prevent you from having any cause for regrets in future, no 'if only' or 'how I could have done things differently' kind of issues, just sweet memories packed in a box, opened occasionally to remember and relive those moments, to relive that experience. I do that sometimes to remember people who have once been my friend and what hell lots of fun we once shared when we were friends and that made my life so much simpler, no cause for complications and so many more reasons to be happier...

Food for thoughts?

I guess I worried a little too much the day before. I guess this is what happens when you compare and contrast, you lose sight of who you are and the many wonderful things you can do and accomplish. Somehow the grass is never greener just of different shades that's all, this is what I've come to understand. Someone once said that to me and I guess I brushed away that too quickly and forgotten all about it. It's a simple phrase really, but it speaks volume.

I guess comparing and contrasting are healthy once in awhile to pump the adrenalin, to get you going, to motivate you, but it's not everything. One should not let it consume him/herself completely, moderation is the key. So glad I've figured things out. Sometimes all I need is time to reflect and remember who I am and what I have done and what I can accomplish. Oh well we all get silly moments where our minds are clouded. :)

I have just seen the most wonderful place today and I would like to share it with all of you. Castles can be built in the air afterall. Imagine the impossible, create your own world and enjoy it. One day, just one day, I'll be there, experiencing the greatness of seeing this fantastic castle with my very own eyes. Chicken Soup for the Soul perhaps?

Schloss Neuschwanstein, Germany


Now all credits are given to the following website:
http://www.ringlord.com/people/walrus/neuschwanstein/#ImageGallery

A boy I know of is quitting Yale Law School, yeap you've got it right, it's Yale, one of the most prestigious and top leading law schools in the States. So what exactly is he going to do then? Volunteer work. Yes, this friend of mine is giving up his law degree for his passion, passion to help people, passion to make a difference in people's life, not just his, of course he will eventually feel the difference in his anyway.

His decision shocked his parents and close family friends, everyone thinks he is making the biggest mistake in his life, but is he? He's a very bright and intelligent boy who happens to not only ace all his papers but excels in whatever he's set out to do and his lecturers and peers all think he's insane or probably had too good a life to throw away anyway. He's making a very tough decision in his life and there is no one there to walk him through this supposedly rough patch he chose.

I admire him for staying true to his passions and dreams, how many of us can actually do that? Living your dreams and passions is a whole lot of hardwork and this is perhaps the reason why most people don't live up to theirs anyway. When the whole world is questioning your decisions, your judgement, your ideas and your sanity, you need tons of courage, faith and hope to pull everything off. I don't, in my opinion, think that he's wasting his life away, I think helping people, making people's day and making a difference to people's lives is what he really wants to do, that is his definition of a fulfilling life not some life which he spend endless hours behind that neat, sleek desk. Look at all those starlets or stars in Hollywood or Bollywood, some made it as superstars and some didn't but who is to say those who didn't failed in life? They have for once, truly lived and that is sufficient. Who is to say my friend here's going to waste his life and become the biggest joke and failure in this modern contemporary world? I don't really know what is failure anyway, in the truest sense, it doesn't mean you failed because you don't measure up to what society demands from you.

It's not easy sometimes to make such tough choices and a decision may not be wrong just because everyone else don't understand, you are not everyone else, you are you, master of your own fate and you decide what your life journey should be and if living your dreams and passions is what you set out to do, that is your fate. People have been telling him that his life could be alot better, but that's all beside the point isn't it? His life is already tres tres bien, grand in its own way. For what can be measured to the greatness of such kind acts that comes from the heart, for what can be compared to the smile you've brought to someone who's never probably had a home or family? I never seemed to understand people, they can sometimes find great difficulty dealing with people's success and on the other hand have a hard time handling people's loftiest ambitions, not to mention great great difficulty dealing with people who cannot quite make it up on the social level (ok sidenote). But to each his own, everyone has their own dreams and passions to live and ultimately the only question that really matter is "What if I don't try?" and not "What if I am making the biggest mistake in my life?"

You go guy! Go for it! Don't grow old with regrets!

I suppose I am a hard nut to crack when it comes to friendships these days, the only certainty about friendships is nothing's for certain. I felt terribly let down by the recent turn of events, all the backstabbing saucy stuff, it's not like I have high expectations of my friends or something but whenever someone betrays my trust I see that as a let down of their potential and failure on my part of judgment.

Of course, different categories of friends require different levels of expectations, but at the very basic level, all I expect from someone is sincerity. Sometimes I wished for a little more, which is a simple straightforward theory that goes "Hang around me if you feel comfortable, if not the door's always there for you" but these days who shows their likes and dislikes openly? As much as you hate to be involved in politics, you are just involved somehow one way or the other, you patronize people with the regular "Oh Hi! How have you been" (passionately) even when that someone annoys you. Let's not include the superficial friends known as acquaintances because quite frankly all of us patronize these group of people half the time, let's just narrow down the discussion to friends, people who have the potential of becoming your good friend.

I am but a straighforward person, if I dislike someone I'll just make it known to that person, either by declaring it or through showing it (sometimes it takes awhile to show though). If someone's worth my attention, I will probably go tell him/her what exactly's about him/her I dislike or annoys me, alternatively I'll walk away from this so called 'friend' eventually or though I am not too sure if this is the right thing to do. The very last thing I will do is to go around gossiping about this person whom I dislike, for what does that make me of a person anyway? Sometimes people don't realise I don't exactly need them around, I don't need all that hypocrisy, if you don't like me just go, why put up a false front and go around pretending you are my friend, you like me half the time? Why be aggressive and passive at the same time?
I don't need such company. There's nothing I can do to anyone if they choose not to be my friend, so what is it that these people cannot see anyway, it's not like they get a million dollars for sticking around with me anyway.

I would very much appreciate if someone were to come forward and tell me what exactly is so irritable about me rather than going around spreading rumours or gossips about me. These people are just total let downs, I shan't waste my night dwelling on this.

P.S: I wrote this partly because I need to channel my negative emotions somewhere and partly to send the message across to the people reading my blog, who I believe are mostly my friends, it's never too late to tell me or confess whatever you said about me, I will respect and be thankful for your honesty and I promise no hard feelings.

I remembered how happy I was when people gave me a chance to fill in the position of Chief Editor for the society and I promised myself to contribute whatever I can. This is my committment. Then I was given the duties of webmaster reason being I have a blog and the blog shows my efficiency in web-building, but this is not true, for all web-bloggers you will know what I mean but still I accepted the job, treated it as a challenge and an opportunity to learn something new, it was a challenge back then.

Today I was introduced as Chief Editor and Webmaster of the society, I felt proud with the former being mentioned but somewhat awkward when the latter position was mentioned. I would have felt equally proud if I had been able to carry out my duties, I planned to do up the website during this space of free time but things always don't go the way we plan, do they? I cannot use yahoo page builder due to the advertisements popping out every now and then but that's ok, he said he will teach me how to do up the thing or provide me with frontpage software to solve this issue. After a few failed attempts to reach him, I wrote an email to get him to give me a clear indication with regards to the website issue, I really wanted to know if he is still going to teach me or not, if he is not, then I will want to do the website using yahoo page builder and if that's not allowed I will then not want to assume this responsibility, how can I go around telling people I am also the webmaster when I've not done anything to deserve such title? I am not attributing blame or trying to push someone else to do the job, I am merely stuck in the middle, seeking for clarity.

I hate leaving jobs undone, especially when it affects people not just myself. Responsibility is but a simple word, explained by oxford dictionary as duty resulting from your work or position, it is a liability and it is a duty, people who don't know their responsibilities deserves no respect from anyone, nor are they fit to tell people what to do. Without responsibility, people's commitment to the results of their work will diminish, responsibility builds trust, good relationship between teamplayers and irresponsibility not only cause inconvenience to others but diminish your credibility, to succeed in life is to be accountable for what you have done and what you have not done. To be irresponsible is bad enough, to create excuses or to simply shift the blame to somewhere else makes you lesser of a person, failure to take on responsibility in early stages of your life will only help you in your future career as a irresponsible parent and /or as a slacker. Somehow it's not a hard concept to understand.

I remembered how happy I was when people gave me a chance to fill in the position of Chief Editor for the society and I promised myself to contribute whatever I can. This is my committment. Then I was given the duties of webmaster reason being I have a blog and the blog shows my efficiency in web-building, but this is not true, for all web-bloggers you will know what I mean but still I accepted the job, treated it as a challenge and an opportunity to learn something new, it was a challenge back then.

Today I was introduced as Chief Editor and Webmaster of the society, I felt proud with the former being mentioned but somewhat awkward when the latter position was mentioned. I would have felt equally proud if I had been able to carry out my duties, I planned to do up the website during this space of free time but things always don't go the way we plan, do they? I cannot use yahoo page builder due to the advertisements popping out every now and then but that's ok, he said he will teach me how to do up the thing or provide me with frontpage software to solve this issue. After a few failed attempts to reach him, I wrote an email to get him to give me a clear indication with regards to the website issue, I really wanted to know if he is still going to teach me or not, if he is not, then I will want to do the website using yahoo page builder and if that's not allowed I will then not want to assume this responsibility, how can I go around telling people I am also the webmaster when I've not done anything to deserve such title? I am not attributing blame or trying to push someone else to do the job, I am merely stuck in the middle, seeking for clarity. I hate leaving jobs undone, especially when it affects people not just myself.

Responsibility is but a simple word, explained by oxford dictionary as duty resulting from your work or position, it is a liability and it is a duty, people who don't know their responsibilities deserves no respect from anyone, nor are they fit to tell people what to do. Without responsibility, people's commitment to the results of their work will diminish, responsibility builds trust, good relationship between teamplayers and irresponsibility not only cause inconvenience to others but diminish your credibility, to succeed in life is to be accountable for what you have done and what you have not done. To be irresponsible is bad enough, to create excuses or to simply shift the blame to somewhere else makes you lesser of a person, failure to take on responsibility in early stages of your life will only help you in your future career as a irresponsible parent and /or as a slacker. Somehow it's not a hard concept to understand.

I named him Brave-Be. The name should tell you he's brave but it is not that I admire, it is his will to survive, the willingness to learn how to survive and that is something that's worth admiration or commendation. He's my Dad's pet, one of the four lobsters he kept.

I didn't really paid much attention to Brave-Be till one day I found one of his claws ripped and he on the other hand was busy defending or ducking away from Bully, one other lobster among the four which is slightly bigger. At first, Brave-Be lost only one of his bigger claws, few days later he lost all of his remaining hind legs and Bully didn't stop bugging Brave-Be, my first reaction to this was rather instinctual, I wanted to help this poor fella. I placed my hand in to separate Brave-Be from Bully and Brave-Be just ducked away, the same way he ducked away from Bully, so plan A didn't work and I went on to plan B. Plan B was to put Brave-Be at the other side of the tank camouflaged with all the rocks and shells in the tank, but Brave-Be did not stay there for long, the minute I placed it there and was about to take my hand out, it moved away.

And I figured the best way of helping him was perhaps to let him figure things out on his own. So I spent the new few days observing Brave-Be. That little fella was hell of a erm lobster, instead of hiding or retreating, he just sleeps in the open (with no stones, no shells, nothing) and whenever Bully starts poking at him, he tries to fight back and when he can't he just retreats to somewhere where Bully cannot squeeze through because of his sheer size as compared with Brave-Be.

Despite him being small and perhaps a little lost and confused, he never succumbed to Bully, he learned how to survive on his own and with every new thing he does on his own just makes him stronger and more useful, guess nature always has its plan. Every fight he put up against Bully was in fact of much courage and bravery and in my opinion he has done pretty well, even much better than me offering my help. Sometimes the best way for one to survive is to figure how things work in life on their own.

Brave-Be made me realised he's no different from any living creature, he's like one of us too, learning how to survive, facing another day on his own, day by day, night by night. It is of course easy to take the easy way out, to be rescued, to be guided, to be taught but sometimes it is really through the bumpy ride one has to take in his/her life, the moments which one feels scared, lost or confused that really teach one how to go on living, how to, survive. Although Brave-Be didn't really make it (he died) but the story of this little lobster brings clarity and which is why his death's not tragic but hopeful.

To be nobody but yourself,

in a world which is doing its best, night and day,

to make you everybody else,

means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight;

and never stop fighting.



E.E. Cummings

I believe at one time or another each of us was told something, by somebody, somewhere. I had my hair cut recently and my friends who seen me with that either through the photograph or in person just complimented me. It's a bob and I once kept that hairstyle quite some time ago but some friend of mine said it looks ugly and I never went back to being a bobbit (haha ok whatever).

But this time I clearly just want my hair cut to a bob (not because I wanted to look ugly or what), because I desire a change, somehow. I know of a friend who rebonded her hair because everyone said she looked fabulous with straight hair and trust me ever since then she never went back to curly. I then know of a guy who started wearing bermudas because his friends said he looked cute in them instead of the good o jeans and since then he never looked back at jeans, not even one glance.

Then somehow my friend's new boyfriend said he liked girls with natural curls because they look so pretty and she went back to curly, everyone just said she looked great and not dead as before. And then the guy stopped wearing bermudas because he started his first job after graduation and fridays are normally the 'let your hair down' day where you don't need to wear formal office wear just casual jeans with a chic shirt's good enough. His colleagues said he looked so so so charming, yes so so so charming and he just grinned ( and called me and informed me I was right all this while, DUHZ!) and wears jeans more than his berms these days.

I guess everyone at certain point of their lives were told of one thing or another, something they aren't or can't do and they just listen more than what they should or even think about what was said. We might be receiving a million compliments or positive things but somehow it's always the negative things that we hold very dearly to (don't know why). But I personally felt that at some point, we should really ask ourselves if those comments or ideas we have received and are holding on to are indeed true or fits our view perfectly like a missing puzzle.

All that should be based on experience, time, growth and perspective and that's I guess the beauty of growing. It makes you more aware of who you are and what are your thoughts and what makes you happy. Happiness is derived from the ability of being able to decide for yourself and not let social stigma or others' perceptions or opinions affect you. Comments, opinions or perceptions are all subjective and attributed mainly to the environment, experience of one goodself which might be again different from yours.

It's like arts, they are all subjective and nobody, really nobody have a right to decide if a piece of work is really good or not, there shouldn't be a fail for arts, I sometimes doubt how art teachers manage to allocate marks based on their subjectivity (no arts's not objective) and perceptions. I would say the answer to the questions posed with regards to the truthful comments or opinions put acrossed to you by somebody's often a 'no'.

And Winston Churchill ( I cannot remember if it's him, but should be) once said the formula for failure's to try please everyone and since people will comment anyway why don't you just let loose and do whatever you want and whatever that you really think makes you a happier person? This will not only give you freedom but really sense of power because you decide what you want and not someone who is busy keeping up with what people want from you. Really I honestly think so

I'm sorry for the long absence (mugging for exams!!), catch me in a few days time.